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Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 48
So, everyone's still treating the rumbling like it's something unusual, despite the fact that it would happen all the fucking time on an island with an ACTIVE VOLCANO! But whatever, it turns that something's going on with the Spirit Gates. Lots of glowing, beams of light, and big honking pillars jutting out of the ground in random directions, all arranged in a big circle.
TITLE SCREEN! VS. KAGEMARU (PART 1) TWO MYTHIC DEMONS. what, we got to wait on the third one?
A weird bell-like sound keeps playing, and then the Spirit Keys start glowing, and then they fly off, dragging Manjoume along for the ride. Everyone gives chase, and even in these conditions, they still find time to put in that annoying honorific running gag. A big circle of the ground in the middle of the area marked off by the pillars suddenly collapses, and Manjoume is lifted up into the air by the keys, and then hits a branch, causing the cords to tear and freeing Manjoume from being dragged any further into the dirt than he already has been. The spirit keys are then absorbed into the pillars, and everyone comes to the conclusion that somehow the Spirit Gates are opening. Samejima and Chronos come running along, so now everyone's together, and they ask what's going on. Everyone blames Manjoume, which makes about as much sense as anything that's going on, and still in a state of delirium, Manjoume concludes that it was the power of his love that opened the Spirit Gates. Manjoume, you're not Sanji, you're not Boa Hancock, you're not allowed to talk about the power of love like that. Asuka wonders how far Manjoume will go with his optimism (hee), and more rumbling as a small squat stone emerges from the center of the inner circle, and it opens to reveal a case, and in that case, are the three Mythic Demon Cards.
Yeesh, a bit over-elaborate, don't you think?
But as everyone runs up to them, Old Man says that he can't let them have those cards, and up in the sky is a big plane with the Eye of Wdjat on it. Where exactly did this plane take off from? It couldn't have been from the island itself, I'm pretty sure people would have noticed that huge thing, and it couldn't be coming from some other place, Old Man got there way to quick for that. But enough about that, some big metal thing gets dropped off the plane which just flies off. Parachutes are involved, and then it slams into the ground, and when the dust clears, it is...a big tube full of water with a decrepit old man inside, on top of big robot legs. I really can't describe what I'm seeing any better than that. Principal Samejima wonders WTF, Old Man is shocked that Samejima has forgotten his voice and we get a closeup of the ring with the Eye of Wdjat on it, and Samejima realizes that its Chairman Kagemaru! ZOMG! I never saw that coming!
...Who the fuck is Chairman Kagemaru?
Well, there's no time to answer questions, there apocalypse cards to take! Kagemaru declares that he'll conduct the ritual to revive the Mythic Demons right here, Judai's all WTF, Manjoume demands to know why the Spirit Gates opened up on their own, and Kagemaru says that's how he'd set it up from the beginning, that he was the one who'd sealed the Mythic Demon Cards and entrusted Samejima with the Spirit Keys, and the keys themselves were nothing more than a tool to get them to fight the Seven Stars and strengthen the fighting spirits of the duelists on the island. Manjoume is glad that the spirit gates opening wasn't really his fault, and Kagemaru says he found the Mythic Demon cards many years ago, which doesn't even begin to make sense, and that their power can grant eternal life and world domination. But in order to revive the power of the sleeping Mythic Demons, he needed a space that was full of the fighting spirits of duelists, so he...created Duel Academia...what? But...that...doesn't even begin to...
"QUESTION!"
"Yes?"
"THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!"
"That's not a question."
"WELL IT SHOULD BE!"
Asuka calls bullshit on all this, but only to the extent that Kagemaru says that they all did as he expected them to and not the fact that his basic story doesn't even come close to adding up, Shou and Hayato do the same, and Kaiser Ryou declares that he'll crush Kagemaru's ambitions, Manjoume Thunder says he'll do it, and Fubuki says, no, this duel belongs to him, pauses to think of a nickname, and settles on Blizzard Prince. Asuka is distinctly unimpressed. Misawa is cut off before he's allowed to say anything, as he is the writers whipping boy, and Kagemaru declares that Judai will be his opponent; Judai, according to Kagemaru, holds the most powerful power to control the spirits.
...
...
Okay, I am calm, I will not lose it again so quickly...
Then energy starts running between the pillars, and Kagemaru declares that if Judai doesn't duel him, the entire will sink into the ocean, taking everyone with it. Then he uses his cheap robot arms to take the Mythic Demon cards, more bad physical comedy and Manjoume abuse, and then the Emerald Table falls out of Hayato's backpack as he gets out his Duel Disc. And now there's a card sticking out of it. Which, given Judai's reaction, he'd not seen it before. Which would mean that he hadn't even bothered to so much as skim through the Emerald Tablet. Which, unfortunately, is what we would expect of the worst and laziest student in the history of ever. So Judai puts the card into his deck, saying he'll believe in the power that Daitokuji left to him, and then tosses Hayato's backpack back to him...which makes me wonder what the fuck the Emerald Tablet was doing in Hayato's backpack, if Daitokuji had entrusted it to Judai? Then again, everything that Kagemaru's said shows that the writers have no problem making shit up as they go along without any regard for consistency, continuity, or even basic logic, so there you go. One final round 'abuse Manjoume', and Kagemaru declares the beginning of the Duel of Darkness.
Judai calls Kagemaru a fishbowl, which is just painful, and summons Burst Lady in defense position, and then sets a card to end his turn, telling Kagemaru to bring it on. Kagemaru responds to Judai's efforts at a Bush impression by declaring that he's setting three trap cards. Manjoume wonders if Kagemaru's ever dueled before, Shou wonders why he asks, and Misawa explains that you're not required to specify whether you're setting a spell or trap card. However, Kagemaru says that this is the requirement for summoning a Mythic Demon, so Judai'll get to see the Mythic Demon cards right away; Kagemaru sacrifices his three Trap Cards, and summons from his hand The Lord of Divine Flames - Uria! It looks an uninspired rip-off of the Sky Dragon of Osiris. Ojama Yellow starts whining, lets ignore him, and Kagemaru activates Uria's effect to destroy Judai's face down card with some really uninspired animation, and we can see that Judai's trap card is Mirror Gate. Which means he should have summoned Burst Lady in attack position. But he didn't, because the writers knew that it was going to be destroyed, and they knew that if Judai took a hit this early in the duel, he'd lose. Also, Uria's attack power is determined by the number of trap cards in Kagemaru's grave, 1000 points per trap, so 3000. Uria destroys Burst Lady, and Kagemaru ends his turn.
EYECATCH!
Judai psyches himself up, he can't get scared, his chest is throbbing, fighting such an awesome monster makes his heart pound with excitement! So after I have Judai's blood replaced with sulfuric acid, he takes his turn and summons Bubbleman, draws two cards with its bullshit effect, and we get lots of pointless banter from the Peanut Gallery. So Judai plays Fusion, sending Bubbleman, Sparkman, and Featherman to the grave to fusion summon Tempester, blah blah blah, and then he plays Skyscraper, giving Tempester an extra 1000 attack points. So he attacks and destroys Uria for 800 points of damage.
...
That...that was pretty underwhelming. I mean, remember the time when Yuugi had to face off against the Sky Dragon of Osiris? Yeah, this is nothing like that.
Kagemaru thinks about the power of Fusion, and how Judai is the ultimate alchemist that Daitokuji told him about, I drive a spike through my head to kill my memory of that particular development, and Kagemaru says that this is why Judai is suitable for him. Judai sets a card to end his turn, and Kagemaru declares that Judai will feel despair before the power of the Mythic Demons, and declares that by discarding a trap card during his standby phase, he can special summon Uria back from the grave. So now Uria is back with 4000 attack points, but for some reason Kagemaru doesn't use its effect to destroy Judai's face down card. So he attacks, Judai sends his face-down card to the grave to keep Tempester on the field, but he still takes 200 points of damage. Kagemaru calls him persistent, Judai takes his turn and plays Pot of Greed, then Heat Heart, raising Tempester's attack power by 500 points. So Judai destroys Uria again, this time for 300 points of damage, and Kagemaru says it's pointless as he draws his card and discards another trap to bring back Uria. Then he plays Pot of Greed, and then follows that up with the Field Spell card, Lost Paradise. Which is obviously nothing like Paradise Lost.
Now the field looks like a dessicated ruin and so long as Kagemaru controls a Mythic Demon, once per turn he can draw two cards. He does so, and then sets three spell cards. Behold, the second Mythic Demon, The Lord of Striking Thunder - Hamon. Who looks like a poor man's Sun Dragon of Ra, and it has 4000 attack points. He has Hamon attack Tempester and he destroys it for 1200 points of damage, and then Hamon's effect activates, letting it deal 1000 points of damage every time it destroys a monster by battle. Which means that if Judai had summoned Burst Lady in attack position in accordance with his face down Mirror Gate, he would have lost just now.
The writers are just so fucking goddamn transparent, aren't they?
Judai is wincing in pain, Ojama Yellow starts whining again...and now he's looking all withered for some reason. On the card art, he is looking withered. Everyone gets out their cards and they get to see that the card art for their monsters are being similarly affected. Kagemaru declares that the moment that the Mythic Demons appeared on the field, they began to...feed on the energies of their monsters...with the exception of Judai since he's in the Duel of Darkness. ...Yes, the Mythic Demons make the card art disappear, er, feed on the power of the Duel Monsters, to manifest their powers. Which is the reason they had to be sealed away in the first place. Because otherwise all the card art would disappear.
Am I the only one who feels intensely underwhelmed by the Mythic Demons? I mean, all that hype, and this is what we get? Underwhelming, poorly applied effects, and disappearing card art? Yeah, not exactly the impression I got from the opening, that's for damn sure.
Oh, and apparently right now Kagemaru can only control the power of the Mythic Demons while in this barrier, and so he needs Judai's power over the spirits to command them outside the barrier. When he wins and takes Judai's power, he'll take the Mythic Demons outside of the barrier, and...take the life energy of all the Duel Monsters in the world. Seriously, what?!??!?! Am I supposed to care? Am I supposed to pretend that the lives of these 'Card Spirits' matter in anyway? Maybe, if the anime hadn't fucked around with the Manga's backstory for the origin of the few Duel Monster spirits that were actually around and made up that whole "LOLOLOLOL World of Duel Spirit Monsters LOLOLOLOLOL" bullshit, maybe I could care...no, probably not even then.
Look, if these Mythic Demons want to be taken seriously as apocalyptic horrors, they should be feeding on the life energy of humans! That would actually be scary!
Oh yeah, and the Mythic Demons will then give Kagemaru eternal life and he'll rule everything like a god. Whatever, I don't give a fuck, none of this horseshit makes any goddamn sense anyway. Then his ring his starts to glow and...he starts getting younger and hulks out and bursts out of the tube, and he is wearing a diaper.
Ladies and gentleman, this is what the Seven Stars arc has been leading up to; diaperman wants eternal youth and to rule the world. That's just...really special. Then Kagemaru picks up the giant tube-robot thing and throws it a completely insane distance. Why in the fuck he needs super strength to be able to play a children's card game, I've no fucking clue. Let's just hope that the writers never have another villain hulk out again, shall we? Then Kagemaru declares he'll absorb Judai's soul into his body...do the writers think about the lines they write? I don't think they do at this point. I don't think they even care, they're throwing shit at the wall at this point. And then the episode ends.
NEXT TIME! The duel continues, bullshit happens, EPISODE TITLE, VS. KAGEMARU (PART 2) THE AWAKENING OF THE THREE MYTHIC DEMONS.
I just...nothing about his episode made any sense, at all. Kagemaru's story contradicts multiple established facts, no one really calls him out on this, and the Mythic Demons are not fit to lick the feet of the God Soldier of the Obelisk. These writers...they just don't have a fucking clue, do they?
TITLE SCREEN! VS. KAGEMARU (PART 1) TWO MYTHIC DEMONS. what, we got to wait on the third one?
A weird bell-like sound keeps playing, and then the Spirit Keys start glowing, and then they fly off, dragging Manjoume along for the ride. Everyone gives chase, and even in these conditions, they still find time to put in that annoying honorific running gag. A big circle of the ground in the middle of the area marked off by the pillars suddenly collapses, and Manjoume is lifted up into the air by the keys, and then hits a branch, causing the cords to tear and freeing Manjoume from being dragged any further into the dirt than he already has been. The spirit keys are then absorbed into the pillars, and everyone comes to the conclusion that somehow the Spirit Gates are opening. Samejima and Chronos come running along, so now everyone's together, and they ask what's going on. Everyone blames Manjoume, which makes about as much sense as anything that's going on, and still in a state of delirium, Manjoume concludes that it was the power of his love that opened the Spirit Gates. Manjoume, you're not Sanji, you're not Boa Hancock, you're not allowed to talk about the power of love like that. Asuka wonders how far Manjoume will go with his optimism (hee), and more rumbling as a small squat stone emerges from the center of the inner circle, and it opens to reveal a case, and in that case, are the three Mythic Demon Cards.
Yeesh, a bit over-elaborate, don't you think?
But as everyone runs up to them, Old Man says that he can't let them have those cards, and up in the sky is a big plane with the Eye of Wdjat on it. Where exactly did this plane take off from? It couldn't have been from the island itself, I'm pretty sure people would have noticed that huge thing, and it couldn't be coming from some other place, Old Man got there way to quick for that. But enough about that, some big metal thing gets dropped off the plane which just flies off. Parachutes are involved, and then it slams into the ground, and when the dust clears, it is...a big tube full of water with a decrepit old man inside, on top of big robot legs. I really can't describe what I'm seeing any better than that. Principal Samejima wonders WTF, Old Man is shocked that Samejima has forgotten his voice and we get a closeup of the ring with the Eye of Wdjat on it, and Samejima realizes that its Chairman Kagemaru! ZOMG! I never saw that coming!
...Who the fuck is Chairman Kagemaru?
Well, there's no time to answer questions, there apocalypse cards to take! Kagemaru declares that he'll conduct the ritual to revive the Mythic Demons right here, Judai's all WTF, Manjoume demands to know why the Spirit Gates opened up on their own, and Kagemaru says that's how he'd set it up from the beginning, that he was the one who'd sealed the Mythic Demon Cards and entrusted Samejima with the Spirit Keys, and the keys themselves were nothing more than a tool to get them to fight the Seven Stars and strengthen the fighting spirits of the duelists on the island. Manjoume is glad that the spirit gates opening wasn't really his fault, and Kagemaru says he found the Mythic Demon cards many years ago, which doesn't even begin to make sense, and that their power can grant eternal life and world domination. But in order to revive the power of the sleeping Mythic Demons, he needed a space that was full of the fighting spirits of duelists, so he...created Duel Academia...what? But...that...doesn't even begin to...
"QUESTION!"
"Yes?"
"THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!"
"That's not a question."
"WELL IT SHOULD BE!"
Asuka calls bullshit on all this, but only to the extent that Kagemaru says that they all did as he expected them to and not the fact that his basic story doesn't even come close to adding up, Shou and Hayato do the same, and Kaiser Ryou declares that he'll crush Kagemaru's ambitions, Manjoume Thunder says he'll do it, and Fubuki says, no, this duel belongs to him, pauses to think of a nickname, and settles on Blizzard Prince. Asuka is distinctly unimpressed. Misawa is cut off before he's allowed to say anything, as he is the writers whipping boy, and Kagemaru declares that Judai will be his opponent; Judai, according to Kagemaru, holds the most powerful power to control the spirits.
...
...
Okay, I am calm, I will not lose it again so quickly...
Then energy starts running between the pillars, and Kagemaru declares that if Judai doesn't duel him, the entire will sink into the ocean, taking everyone with it. Then he uses his cheap robot arms to take the Mythic Demon cards, more bad physical comedy and Manjoume abuse, and then the Emerald Table falls out of Hayato's backpack as he gets out his Duel Disc. And now there's a card sticking out of it. Which, given Judai's reaction, he'd not seen it before. Which would mean that he hadn't even bothered to so much as skim through the Emerald Tablet. Which, unfortunately, is what we would expect of the worst and laziest student in the history of ever. So Judai puts the card into his deck, saying he'll believe in the power that Daitokuji left to him, and then tosses Hayato's backpack back to him...which makes me wonder what the fuck the Emerald Tablet was doing in Hayato's backpack, if Daitokuji had entrusted it to Judai? Then again, everything that Kagemaru's said shows that the writers have no problem making shit up as they go along without any regard for consistency, continuity, or even basic logic, so there you go. One final round 'abuse Manjoume', and Kagemaru declares the beginning of the Duel of Darkness.
Judai calls Kagemaru a fishbowl, which is just painful, and summons Burst Lady in defense position, and then sets a card to end his turn, telling Kagemaru to bring it on. Kagemaru responds to Judai's efforts at a Bush impression by declaring that he's setting three trap cards. Manjoume wonders if Kagemaru's ever dueled before, Shou wonders why he asks, and Misawa explains that you're not required to specify whether you're setting a spell or trap card. However, Kagemaru says that this is the requirement for summoning a Mythic Demon, so Judai'll get to see the Mythic Demon cards right away; Kagemaru sacrifices his three Trap Cards, and summons from his hand The Lord of Divine Flames - Uria! It looks an uninspired rip-off of the Sky Dragon of Osiris. Ojama Yellow starts whining, lets ignore him, and Kagemaru activates Uria's effect to destroy Judai's face down card with some really uninspired animation, and we can see that Judai's trap card is Mirror Gate. Which means he should have summoned Burst Lady in attack position. But he didn't, because the writers knew that it was going to be destroyed, and they knew that if Judai took a hit this early in the duel, he'd lose. Also, Uria's attack power is determined by the number of trap cards in Kagemaru's grave, 1000 points per trap, so 3000. Uria destroys Burst Lady, and Kagemaru ends his turn.
EYECATCH!
Judai psyches himself up, he can't get scared, his chest is throbbing, fighting such an awesome monster makes his heart pound with excitement! So after I have Judai's blood replaced with sulfuric acid, he takes his turn and summons Bubbleman, draws two cards with its bullshit effect, and we get lots of pointless banter from the Peanut Gallery. So Judai plays Fusion, sending Bubbleman, Sparkman, and Featherman to the grave to fusion summon Tempester, blah blah blah, and then he plays Skyscraper, giving Tempester an extra 1000 attack points. So he attacks and destroys Uria for 800 points of damage.
...
That...that was pretty underwhelming. I mean, remember the time when Yuugi had to face off against the Sky Dragon of Osiris? Yeah, this is nothing like that.
Kagemaru thinks about the power of Fusion, and how Judai is the ultimate alchemist that Daitokuji told him about, I drive a spike through my head to kill my memory of that particular development, and Kagemaru says that this is why Judai is suitable for him. Judai sets a card to end his turn, and Kagemaru declares that Judai will feel despair before the power of the Mythic Demons, and declares that by discarding a trap card during his standby phase, he can special summon Uria back from the grave. So now Uria is back with 4000 attack points, but for some reason Kagemaru doesn't use its effect to destroy Judai's face down card. So he attacks, Judai sends his face-down card to the grave to keep Tempester on the field, but he still takes 200 points of damage. Kagemaru calls him persistent, Judai takes his turn and plays Pot of Greed, then Heat Heart, raising Tempester's attack power by 500 points. So Judai destroys Uria again, this time for 300 points of damage, and Kagemaru says it's pointless as he draws his card and discards another trap to bring back Uria. Then he plays Pot of Greed, and then follows that up with the Field Spell card, Lost Paradise. Which is obviously nothing like Paradise Lost.
Now the field looks like a dessicated ruin and so long as Kagemaru controls a Mythic Demon, once per turn he can draw two cards. He does so, and then sets three spell cards. Behold, the second Mythic Demon, The Lord of Striking Thunder - Hamon. Who looks like a poor man's Sun Dragon of Ra, and it has 4000 attack points. He has Hamon attack Tempester and he destroys it for 1200 points of damage, and then Hamon's effect activates, letting it deal 1000 points of damage every time it destroys a monster by battle. Which means that if Judai had summoned Burst Lady in attack position in accordance with his face down Mirror Gate, he would have lost just now.
The writers are just so fucking goddamn transparent, aren't they?
Judai is wincing in pain, Ojama Yellow starts whining again...and now he's looking all withered for some reason. On the card art, he is looking withered. Everyone gets out their cards and they get to see that the card art for their monsters are being similarly affected. Kagemaru declares that the moment that the Mythic Demons appeared on the field, they began to...feed on the energies of their monsters...with the exception of Judai since he's in the Duel of Darkness. ...Yes, the Mythic Demons make the card art disappear, er, feed on the power of the Duel Monsters, to manifest their powers. Which is the reason they had to be sealed away in the first place. Because otherwise all the card art would disappear.
Am I the only one who feels intensely underwhelmed by the Mythic Demons? I mean, all that hype, and this is what we get? Underwhelming, poorly applied effects, and disappearing card art? Yeah, not exactly the impression I got from the opening, that's for damn sure.
Oh, and apparently right now Kagemaru can only control the power of the Mythic Demons while in this barrier, and so he needs Judai's power over the spirits to command them outside the barrier. When he wins and takes Judai's power, he'll take the Mythic Demons outside of the barrier, and...take the life energy of all the Duel Monsters in the world. Seriously, what?!??!?! Am I supposed to care? Am I supposed to pretend that the lives of these 'Card Spirits' matter in anyway? Maybe, if the anime hadn't fucked around with the Manga's backstory for the origin of the few Duel Monster spirits that were actually around and made up that whole "LOLOLOLOL World of Duel Spirit Monsters LOLOLOLOLOL" bullshit, maybe I could care...no, probably not even then.
Look, if these Mythic Demons want to be taken seriously as apocalyptic horrors, they should be feeding on the life energy of humans! That would actually be scary!
Oh yeah, and the Mythic Demons will then give Kagemaru eternal life and he'll rule everything like a god. Whatever, I don't give a fuck, none of this horseshit makes any goddamn sense anyway. Then his ring his starts to glow and...he starts getting younger and hulks out and bursts out of the tube, and he is wearing a diaper.
Ladies and gentleman, this is what the Seven Stars arc has been leading up to; diaperman wants eternal youth and to rule the world. That's just...really special. Then Kagemaru picks up the giant tube-robot thing and throws it a completely insane distance. Why in the fuck he needs super strength to be able to play a children's card game, I've no fucking clue. Let's just hope that the writers never have another villain hulk out again, shall we? Then Kagemaru declares he'll absorb Judai's soul into his body...do the writers think about the lines they write? I don't think they do at this point. I don't think they even care, they're throwing shit at the wall at this point. And then the episode ends.
NEXT TIME! The duel continues, bullshit happens, EPISODE TITLE, VS. KAGEMARU (PART 2) THE AWAKENING OF THE THREE MYTHIC DEMONS.
I just...nothing about his episode made any sense, at all. Kagemaru's story contradicts multiple established facts, no one really calls him out on this, and the Mythic Demons are not fit to lick the feet of the God Soldier of the Obelisk. These writers...they just don't have a fucking clue, do they?