cypsiman2: I still believe in my dreams (No Development)
cypsiman2 ([personal profile] cypsiman2) wrote2010-06-30 12:40 pm

Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 54

So Manjoume and some little dude are about to duel, and as they shuffle their decks, the little dude talks about how glad he is that he can duel Manjoume-san. And gee, I wonder if there's any significance behind the fact that Little Dude's character design is plainly a cheap rip-off of Manjoume's? Manjoume is arrogant, and now we shift to Judai and Shou running through the hall on account of being late. Like they always are. Oh wait, Asuka's with them too; I'm going to imagine that she had to remind them about the duel, and that's why the three of them are late. Yes. GAHHH! I'm sorry, it's just...why would you do a close-up on Napoleon? All this does is emphasize just how hideous and unnatural his character design is, really. I mean it, does Napoleon do anything, aside from being the punchline for terrible racist jokes? I didn't think so. Anyway, he announces the beginning of the Star-Discovery Duel, and Manjoume is the star, and if he can win, he'll be allowed back into Obelisk Blue. Oh, and then we get a sparkle effect off of Napoleon's huge bald spot. Uh, laughtrack? Judai thinks this is interesting, Shou thinks Judai should be in Obelisk Blue, I kick Shou's spine in half, and Chronos explains the "profound" reasons why Manjoume was chosen for this duel, or at least he will after the opening credits.

TITLE SCREEN! THUNDER VS. MR. ELITE! MECHA OJAMA KING TAKES OFF why do i get the feeling that there are going to be terrible 'rich people suck' jokes?

Chronos goes on about how the Young Genius Pro Duelist Edo Phoenix was supposed to be enrolled in Duel Academia, which would be a big boon to their status, and FLASHBACK! Chronos is playing 'he loves me, he loves me not', with an actual flower. Charming. Napoleon comes in, demands to know WTF, Chronos thinks that Edo hates Duel Academia, that's why he hasn't been to any of the classes, and his last petal ends on 'he loves me not' and so Chronos, despondent, goes to grab plan-B, a poster of Manjoume and Little Dude. Oh, Little Dude's name is Houzan Gokaidou, and how Manjoume beating this random kid we've never heard of before will make him a star, I've no idea. Also, apparently Chronos has completely forgotten about what happened between the Manjoume brothers last season, as he seems to be under the delusion that Jun Manjoume will still have access to the funds of the Manjoume group. END FLASHBACK! Asuka is all 'that's it?', Chronos says yep, and the trio is distinctly unimpressed. And then Napoleon announces the introduction of Manjoume's opponent, the Super-Elite who graduated at the top of the Middle School, Houzan Gokaidou. Judai says shit we already know, Shou says that Gokaidou is just like Manjoume from last year.

TOO SUBTLE!!!

Chronos thinks about how Manjoume can prove he hasn't lost his strength by defeating Gokaidou, who is identical to the way Manjoume used to be. Hey guys, I think there's some symbolism going on here, but it's too obtuse for me to follow, do you think you could help me out? Napoleon gives the first turn over to Gokaidou, and Gokaidou is all 'I can't believe you fell to Osiris Red', and something must be wrong with Duel Academia. Manjoume says that they didn't 'let' him fall, he proclaims that since that annoying prick Judai wouldn't rise to his level, he had to drop down to conquer both Blue and Red. Yellow can just go suck on an egg for all the attention it's going to get. By the way, where the fuck is Misawa? He wasn't in last episode at all, and he doesn't seem to be in this one either. Judai and Shou are all 'Manjoume isn't making any sense', and Manjoume declares that he's had enough of the game and he'll go back to Blue, and he thinks to himself how this will be the end of the unwanted, inseparable friendship between him and Judai. Yeesh, Manjoume, be a little more Tsundere why don't you? I don't think the fangirls have enough material yet!

So yeah, the duel begins, and Gokaidou summons Troop Commander, whose effect he uses to special summon Warrior Lady of the Wasteland. Manjoume says he can line up all the weaklings he likes, it won't make a difference, but Gokaidou isn't done yet; he equips Jewel Sword to Troop Commander, raising his attack power by 300 points, and then he equips Phoenix Blade to Warrior Lady, raising her attack points by 300. So he's spent four cards, and he's got a 1500 attack power monster, and a 1400 attack power monster on the field. Not exactly Super Elite, is it? Of course, the writers try to cover this up by having Judai and Shou act all impressed, and then Gokaidou sets a card to end his turn. Then Gokaidou goes on about how he's always admired Manjoume, and we get a shot of Gokaidou watching Manjoume from behind a tree while they're in Middle School and...no commentary necessary. Anyway, he's convinced that Manjoume will show him the greatest dueling, and Manjoume's inner thoughts hammer home again the ultra-subtle, super nuanced point that Gokaidou is just a walking talking plot-device, rather than any sort of independent character.

Manjoume takes his turn, summons X-Head Cannon, plays Angel's Charaity, drawing three and discarding two, and look, one of the cards he discards is Ojamagic, so he gets all three Ojama Brothers into his hand. Gokaidou is shocked that Manjoume has cards like Ojamagic, and that he uses puny monsters like the Ojama Trio, and then Manjoume activates the spell card Ojama Get Ride; by discarding the Ojama Trio, Manjoume can special summon up to three Level-four or lower Union Machine Monsters from his deck. Ojama Trio go down the hole, Manjoume declares himself an Ultra-Super-Elite, and that he has his reasons for putting such trash cards in his deck. So he special summons Y-Dragon Head and Z-Metal Tank, and then removes all three of his monsters from play to summon XYZ-Dragon Cannon. Then, in accordance with XYZ's effect, he discards two cards to destroy both of Gokaidou's monsters, and Manjoume attacks directly for 2800 points of damage. Gokaidou declares that since Jewel Sword was sent to his grave, he gets to draw a card, and Manjoume ends his turn.

Blah blah blah between Chronos and Napoleon, we get the shine off of Napoleon's head twice in rapid succession, I'm sure the writers think they're making a brilliant visual pun, and Gokaidou takes his turn. He plays Pot of Greed, and then activates his trap card, Cry of the Living Dead, and brings back Warrior Lady. Then he equips her with Grade Sword, which raises her attack power by 300, Manjoume says that won't matter, but then Gokaidou declares that he'll be sacrificing Warrior Lady to summon the Level-8 Gilford the Legend, who has 2600 attack points. By the way, I haven't mentioned this before, but there's something seriously...off, about Gokaidou's voice. Asuka explains how Grade Sword lets the equipped monster be used as two sacrifices instead of just one, and Gokaidiou activates Gilford the Legend's effect, equipping it with as many equip spells from his grave as possible. And so as each card is equipped, Gilford's already sizable sword gets bigger and longer and thicker...and then Gokaidou equips Wicked-Breaking Flamberge - Baou from his hand, discarding a card in the process. So now Gilford has 4000 attack points, and DEAR SWEET CHRIST ON A POGO STICK, THAT IS THE MOST BLATANT PHALLIC IMAGERY I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! SERIOUSLY, I'VE WATCHED TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN, AND THE PHALLIC IMAGERY THERE WAS MORE SUBTLE THAN THIS!

EYECATCH!

MOTHER OF FUCK, THAT FUCKING MUSIC CUE, WHY WOULD YOU SPOIL THE MOST BLATANT PHALLIC IMAGERY EVER WITH THAT HORSESHIT?!? So Gokaidou destroys XYZ Dragon Cannon with his giant penis sword for 1200 points of damage, and ends his turn. Manjoume starts laughing, saying that if things weren't like this, the duel wouldn't be interesting. Manjoume plays Pot of Greed, then plays Ojamandala, Gokaidou freaks over yet another Ojama card, and Manjoume special summons the Ojama Brothers at the cost of 1000 life points. He asks Gokaidou if he realizes what's going to happen now that he's got all three runts on the field, Gokaidou has no idea, and Manjoume activates Ojama Delta Hurricane, destroying everything on Gokaidou's side of the field. Gokaidou is shocked that such an "unskillful trick" could destroy his monster, Gokaidou draws another Card with Jewel Sword's effect, and Manjoume sets a card to end his turn. He sarcastically questions if that isn't another "Ojama" card, and now he's all heartbroken that Manjoume is using such a horrible deck, he is no longer the Manjoume he admired, and Manjoume doesn't give a shit, saying he should savor the humiliation of being defeated by such a horrible deck. Gokaidou takes his turn, plays Premature Burial and pays 800 life points to bring back Heavy Armored Warrior Ben Kei, who was discarded for Flamberge on the previous turn.

Then he activates the effect of Divine Sword - Phoenix Blade in his grave, removing two Warrior monsters in his grave from play to return it to his hand. He equips it and Lightning Blade to Ben Kei, which raises his attack power to 1600. Gokaidou declares he'll give Manjoume a wake-up call, and I have to say, I really don't get what the deal with Gokaidou's deck is; I mean, he's supposed to be Super-Elite, yet his deck is pretty much complete crap, or at least on-par with Manjoume's Ojama cards, so, what the hell? Anyway, Ben Kei gets an additonal attack for every card equipped to him, and since he has three (Premature Burial is also equipped to him), he gets three more attacks. So all three Ojama Brothers are destroyed, and Manjoume thinks to himself how if he activates Ojama Delta Brief now, he won't take a direct attack, but he'll lose an Ojama in the process. He can't afford that, so he takes the hit and drops down to 200 life points. Blah blah blah, Gokaidou says that trash is worthless while blissfully unaware that his own deck is pretty much trash, and then Manjoume activates Ojama Delta Brief, bringing back all the Ojamas that were destroyed this turn.

The Ojama Trio are annoying, Gokaidou says that Duel Academia was right, Manjoume really is a perfect fit for Osiris Red and for bums who use those runts! Manjoume does not care for the word Bum, and Gokaidou says he's heard all about Osiris Red, that it's cramped and run down and the food is bad and the...the Dorm Leader...is a...Cat?

...

...

...

THEY STILL HAVEN'T REPLACED DAITOKUJI??? THE FUCKING HELL! SAMEJIMA GOES ON VACATION, THEY BRING IN AN OBNOXIOUS LITTLE TROLL TO BE VICE PRINCIPAL, BUT THEY CAN'T BE ARSED TO REPLACE DAITOKUJI?

QUESTION!
Yes?
THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!
That's not a question.
WELL IT SHOULD BE!

Okay, calm yourself, remember the phallic imagery, laugh at the phallic imagery...that's better. Gokaidou says that all the duelists in Osiris Red are trash, and Manjoume fully agrees with everything that Gokaidou just said. But, he learned from those Garbage Duelists; that at the bottom lies the bottom! Judai and Shou do not appreciate this, and seriously why is Asuka even in this episode, she doesn't even get to say anything! Manjoume says that at the bottom he can see things he couldn't when on top as the Elite, and Manjoume takes his turn. He plays Fusion, combining the Ojama Brothers into Ojama King, Gokaidou asks what he can do with zero attack points, and Manjoume shows him with Change Mecha Ojama King, which sacrifices Ojama King for the Mecha version, who still has zero attack points. Mecha Ojama King, once per turn, can special summon an Ojamachine, so Manjoume special summon Ojamachine Yellow, which then summons a whole bunch of Ojamachine Yellow Tokens, and again, zero attack power. He attacks with the Ojamachine Yellows, and Gokaidou wonders WTF. Manjoume explains it all, he takes zero damage in a battle that involves Ojamachine Yellow, and when one is destroyed, his opponent takes 300 points of damage. Manjoume tells Gokaidou that once he's fallen into hell to try and climb out, and then tells his trash monsters to finish off Gokaidou. Who we will never hear from again, just like every other Duelist of the Week.

Manjoume declares that even in a million years Gokaidou would never reach him, that last year wasn't a waste, blah blah blah, one ten hundred thousand Manjoume Thunder, wrap it up! Also, good god are they lazy on the character designs for the extras! And then Judai runs up to Manjoume, saying he had no idea Manjoume loved Red that much, and grabs him up in a big hug. Manjoume tries to get him to knock it the fuck off with the invasion of his personal space, and then all the Osiris Reds come down and start tossing Manjoume up in the air, all of them as braindead as Judai. Then Chronos, having finished taking his stupid pills, says he can't possibly separate Manjoume from his beloved Osiris Red, and I punch the writers in the teeth. So yeah, even though Manjoume won, he's still stuck in Osiris Red. Which makes no fucking sense, but hey, none of this show ever made sense to begin with, why should it start now? Manjoume tries to knock some sense into everyone, but the stupid is strong with this episode, so he doesn't stand a chance. Clumsy scene transition, Shou is walking down the hall and overhears Napoleon saying something about elite training and shutting down Osiris Red, and Chronos is distinctly uncomfortable, as anyone would be. Blah blah blah, Shou goes to tell Judai what he heard, the exact opposite of what he did when he overheard Daitokuji in the last season, showing that his priorities are fully in order. Blah blah blah, it starts rumbling, Shou fears that the demolition has already begun, and no, it's just Manjoume having an addition built onto the Osiris Red dorm. Why he didn't do that last season, I've no idea. Blah blah blah, end of episode.

NEXT TIME! Judai and Shou are hauling Duel Disks, something about a Duel Disk thief, and oh joy, it's Kenzan. And of course, Judai goes to duel him. EPISODE TITLE, ENTER TYRANNO KENZAN-SAURUS!

Well, that episode was certainly full of fail, and yet the hilariously over-the-top phallic imagery manages to bring it back into mere terribleness, as opposed to outright horribafuckus.

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