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Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 65
WTF, this is supposed to be about Kaiser Ryou getting into bondage, what the fuck are we doing watching Judai wandering aimlessly through the woods? In any event, he's come upon a pit in the ground with stacks of books or magazines or whatever, neatly tied off with tines and everything. Upon closer inspection, they are copies of Duel Magazine, which of course begs the question, what the fuck? seriously, what the fuck? Who took the time to wander out in the woods, dig a hole, neatly stack magazines into it, and then just walk away? Judai then picks up one that has Kaiser Ryou on the cover, but it's an old one, making this entire sequence completely fucking pointless. Oh, wait, Judai's sure that Kaiser Ryou's doing just fine. Gee, I wonder if we're in for some dramatic irony? Well, according to Shou's exposition, we are! Yes, ever since losing to Edo Phoenix, Ryou's hasn't been able to win a single match, blah blah blah, Manjoume shows up, Asuka is sitting in a really awkward looking position, and then Manjoume goes on about the Society of Light and how Kaiser Ryou could turn everything around by joining it, wink wink. And now I'm going to forget everything prior to this moment, for Asuka just flicked Manjoume in the forehead with her finger, and fuck does that look like it hurt. Yeah, that's what Manjoume gets for talking shit about Kaiser Ryou when she's around. Asuka then grabs the magazine out of Shou's hand and reminds him that Kaiser Ryou isn't such a weak little shit that he can't handle a short losing streak, cue the writers going out of their way to prove Asuka wrong...
TITLE SCREEN! HELL KAISER RYOU! CHIMERATECH OVERDRAGON so, you don't suppose that the writers are trying out that whole 'irony' thing, do you?
Kaiser Ryou is dueling for a very small and angry crowd, and he's being heckled for his troubles. His opponent attacks directly with Mad Scientist...which for some reason involves flashing. I don't get it either. Yep, even in the minor leagues, Kaiser Ryou can't stop sucking. People throw shit at him as he walks away, and here it is, the moment we've all been waiting for, the one, the only, the inimitable, THE SHOWER OF ANGST! Now don't get me wrong, it's no substitute for quality writing and pacing and plotting and character development and good music scores and vibrant animation and living character designs and voice acting, but at this point, I'll take what I can get. Kaiser Ryou is angsting and flashes back to how he got dropped by his sponsor when it became apparent that he was just going to keep losing, more angsting, and someone get that boy a sandwich, my god, why is it that whenever someone takes off their shirt on this show they look like they haven't had a bite to eat in a week?
Now Kaiser Ryou is fully dressed (boo!), and he runs into a man in a top hat. Intriguing. The man says he saw Kaiser Ryou's latest duel, and was bored by it, hardly the duel you'd expect of 'The Kaiser'. Gee, I wonder if the shiny glasses in the poorly lit hallway might be a sign of evil? Kaiser Ryou asks who the fuck he is, and he is Monkey Saruyama, and he gives Kaiser Ryou his card. Wait, doesn't 'Saru' mean monkey? Great, another bad pun. Saruyama says that Kaiser Ryou is caught in a weird trap, that even in the minor leagues his condition wont' improve, and it's a shame for his ability to be buried like this, and someone needs a lesson in respecting personal space boundaries. Anyway, long story short, Saruyama says that Kaiser Ryou should duel in the underground, Kaiser Ryou refuses at first, Saruyama assures him the whole thing will be under the table, no one need ever hear about it, and like Manjoume before him, Kaiser Ryou trusts the creepy stranger because that's what the script says he does. Seriously, is anyone on this show even the least bit genre savvy?
One long-ass scene transition into the underground later, and we're in a room with a big cage in the middle. A man announces that the main event for today shall be Death Matches, and for some reason all the people watching are wearing the kind of masks that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wore. I don't get it. In any event, in the Red Corner, he is the Guard of Hell who's won over 20 matches in a row, Mad Dog Inukai! Wow, same thing with Monkey Saruyama, eh? I guess that counts as a theme, if you squint a lot. Oh, and Inukai has really big muscles, and lots of scars. Why that's necessary to play a children's card game, I'm not sure. And of course, over in the Blue corner, is the new challenger Hell Kaiser Ryou. Blah blah blah, electro-shock collars are strapped to Inukai and Ryou, and apparently Ryou did not read the brochure. Saruyama explains that they are 'damage amplifiers', and that even the slightest damage will flood his body with pain, and he's not allowed to leave the cage until the duel is over. Though even then, there's no guarantee, heh heh heh...trash talk from Inukai, and the duel begins. Inukai goes first, and summons Acid Slime in defense position, then sets a card to end his turn.
Ryou's turn, he sets a card and activates Time Capsule, and what do you know, he special summons Cyber Dragon! Apparently Acid Slime's effect is that Ryou will take 800 points of damage when it is destroyed, but that's become entirely academic, since Inukai goes and activates his trap card, Acid Rust Machine Virus; by sacrificing a Water monster he controls, all machine monsters on Ryou's field, in his hand, and any he draws for the next three turns will be destroyed and sent to the grave. Basically a machine-specific version of Crush-Card Virus. Cyber Dragon is destroyed, and oh, this is different, Kaiser Ryou takes 500 damage, cue the damage amplifiers. Blah blah blah, we go over shit that we already know because the writers think we're morons, and only now does Ryou realize what he's gotten himself into. Christ, did that losing streak also strip him of his IQ? Seriously man, he didn't trick you, you just walked into an obvious trap so that marketing could retool your character into something more popular! Blah blah blah, this is where it's really at, the Pro League is like lukewarm water by comparison, and more heckling from the crowd. Goddamnit, get back to the bondage of angst!
Anyway, Ryou ends his turn, Inukai takes his and plays Contingency Fee; Ryou gets to draw until he has six cards in his hand, and for each card so drawn, Inukai will gain 1000 life points. Furthermore, Acid Rust Machine Virus is still in effect, so Inukai goes through the cards that Ryou had just drawn, and what do you know, none of them are machines. Inukai's fine with that though, because he'll just go and play Card Destruction, so Inukai discards three and draws three, while Ryou discards six and draws six, and now Inukai gets to go through Ryou's entire hand. Ryou does not like being toyed with like this, and oh, he's got four machine monsters in his hand, down into the grave they all go, and Ryou takes 2000 points of damage for his trouble. Ryou reels from the pain as Inukai plays Pot of Greed, and then summons Clone Slime in defense position. Then he sets two cards to end his turn. Fuck, Ryou's in a bad bad place, isn't he?
EYECATCH!
Ryou's turn, he draws Future Fusion, plays it, but Inukai activates Slime Jammer, discarding a 'Slime' monster in his hand to negate and destroy an opponent's spell or trap card, in this case Future Fusion. Furthermore, the card Inukai sent to the grave was Draw Slime, and when that gets sent to the grave, he can draw a card. Damn. Inukai says that if Kaiser Ryou wants to summon a machine monster that badly, he'll let him, and so he activates his other trap card, Despised Treaty; the opponent gets to special summon a level-4 or lower monster from their deck to the field, but if he does, then Inukai gets to draw 2 cards. If Ryou does not opt to summon a monster, then Inukai will take 1000 points of damage, and Ryou is determined to bring out Cyber End Dragon, so Ryou brings out Proto Cyber Dragonn from his deck, buy your copy in the latest booster pack today! While it is on the field, it is treated as Cyber Dragon, Inukai draws two cards, Ryou attacks, but oh, when Clone Slime is attacked, Inukai can send it to the grave and special summon another Slime monster from the grave in its place and force the battle to continue, so Inukai brings back Acid Slime, it gets destroyed, and Ryou takes another 800 points of damage. Everyone laughs at Ryou's pain, and he ends his turn.
Inukai declares that the dance of death isn't over yet, and plays the spell card Slime Vase, which lets him special summon a Slime monster from his hand, Multiple Slime, in attack position. Which has only 1500 attack points...okay...he attack and destroys Proto-Cyber Dragon for 400 points of damage, and Inukai sets another two cards. Blah blah blah, Saruyama says nothing the least bit interesting, Ryou begs to be let out, Saruyama says that he'll have to win for that to happen, but Ryou says that that's impossible, if he draws a machine-type monster on his turn he'll be finished, and now Saruyama is apparently a psychologist, since now he's psychoanalyzing Ryou, declaring him as the kind of person who gives up when the situation disagrees with him...which really doesn't follow from anything we've been shown, but let's pretend that it does, since the writers will be doing so. Also, Ryou never thought about winning and he'll need to choose victory to survive. But, the whole "point" of the last season, to the extent that there was a point, was that you should only duel for fun and not to win, that way you get to win all the time! This show is just so jumbled about what it's trying to communicate to us, isn't it? Also, why the fuck would you listen to a creeper like Saruyama in the first place? Christ, more and more this episode is a retread of the Manjoume vs. Saiou duel in episode 61; I don't think these fuckers realize how lazy they are!
Inukai is cleaning his ear out of boredom, and Ryou takes his turn. I guess he didn't draw a machine card, but why Inukai didn't confirm this, I don't know. Now Ryou gets the card from Time Capsule, and now Ryou plays Power Bond with Cybernetic Fusion Support, paying half his life points to bring out Cyber End Dragon with 8000 attack points. But Inukai goes and activates his trap card, Slime Hole, destroying a monster that the opponent has just special summoned and recovering life points equal to the destroyed monster's attack points, so not only is Cyber End Dragon gone, Inukai now has 15000 life points. Inukai declares Ryou's defeat a certainty, but Ryou disagrees. Very strongly. So strongly that he forgets that this is not DBZ and people do not just spontaneously generate aura powers for no particular reason. But yeah, Ryou really doesn't want to lose. Yep, he just doesn't give a fuck anymore, this show's been treating him like shit for too long now, all he cares about is winning. Blah blah blah, Ryou goes over his old spiel about always respecting your opponent, and now he's all 'fuck that shit', he just wants to win. Seriously, what the fuck is with the stupid power aura? Seriously, writers, animators, sometimes less is more! Ryou activates Call of the Living Dead and brings back Proto-Cyber Dragon, which now gets to act as Cyber Dragon once more, and then Ryou plays Overload Fusion from his hand; with this he removes from play Machine monsters on his field and in his grave to fusion summon a Machine monster. You know, just like Miracle Fusion.
The monster in question is the titular Chimeratech Overdragon, which requres at least two machine monsters, one of which must be Cyber Dragon, hence Ryou bringing Proto-Cyber Dragon back from the grave, and in this case, Ryou uses six monsters, calling this his struggle for existence. Now, while Chimeratech Overdragon may not look all that impressive, it does have 4800 attack points, 800 for each monster used in its fusion. Ryou attacks and destroys Multiple Slime for 3300 points of damage, but now Inukai gets to special summon three Slime tokens in attack position, and he'll also be activating Trap Trip. With this, he returns a trap card from his grave to his hand. Ryou notes that Acid Rust Machine Virus gave him so much trouble before, but he won't let him use it again, and if one good thing has come of this retooling, it is Ryou's voice. Inukai declares that he just needs to keep one of his Slime tokens on the field and he's got this won, but Ryou says he's going to win on this turn! For Chimeratech Overdragon can attack once for every monster sacrificed for the fusion, which means its got 5 more attacks to go. Ouch, this monster's a beast! Note that in the real card game, it can attack a number of the opponent's monsters equal to the number of monsters sacrificed for the fusion. Either way, Kaiser Ryou's got this won.
Big explosion smashes Inukai through the cage, his life points drop to zero, and what the fuck is with Saruyama's eyes? Anyway, now Ryou is Hell Kaiser Ryou, a monster born in the underground. Scene Transition, and now Hell Kaiser Ryou's winning it big in the pro leagues, and the whole of the underground was just a plot device to facilitate Ryou's retooling. And speaking of that retooling, check out that black leather outfit! Shut the hell up Shou, no one gives a fuck about how you feel about this, we only care about how this affects Asuka and Fubuki, who are both there. Seriously, show, your priorities are fucked up. End Episode.
NEXT TIME! A MOTHERFUCKING CLIP SHOW! EPISODE TITLE, JUDAI'S NEW YEAR DREAM DUEL! Card of the week is Power Bond, I don't give a fuck.
You know, this could have been an interesting episode, but unfortunately, marketing's naked desire to retool Ryou to cash in on the 'Darker and edgier' trend mucked that up. Also, that was not nearly enough in the way of bondage of angst. Show, I am disappoint.
TITLE SCREEN! HELL KAISER RYOU! CHIMERATECH OVERDRAGON so, you don't suppose that the writers are trying out that whole 'irony' thing, do you?
Kaiser Ryou is dueling for a very small and angry crowd, and he's being heckled for his troubles. His opponent attacks directly with Mad Scientist...which for some reason involves flashing. I don't get it either. Yep, even in the minor leagues, Kaiser Ryou can't stop sucking. People throw shit at him as he walks away, and here it is, the moment we've all been waiting for, the one, the only, the inimitable, THE SHOWER OF ANGST! Now don't get me wrong, it's no substitute for quality writing and pacing and plotting and character development and good music scores and vibrant animation and living character designs and voice acting, but at this point, I'll take what I can get. Kaiser Ryou is angsting and flashes back to how he got dropped by his sponsor when it became apparent that he was just going to keep losing, more angsting, and someone get that boy a sandwich, my god, why is it that whenever someone takes off their shirt on this show they look like they haven't had a bite to eat in a week?
Now Kaiser Ryou is fully dressed (boo!), and he runs into a man in a top hat. Intriguing. The man says he saw Kaiser Ryou's latest duel, and was bored by it, hardly the duel you'd expect of 'The Kaiser'. Gee, I wonder if the shiny glasses in the poorly lit hallway might be a sign of evil? Kaiser Ryou asks who the fuck he is, and he is Monkey Saruyama, and he gives Kaiser Ryou his card. Wait, doesn't 'Saru' mean monkey? Great, another bad pun. Saruyama says that Kaiser Ryou is caught in a weird trap, that even in the minor leagues his condition wont' improve, and it's a shame for his ability to be buried like this, and someone needs a lesson in respecting personal space boundaries. Anyway, long story short, Saruyama says that Kaiser Ryou should duel in the underground, Kaiser Ryou refuses at first, Saruyama assures him the whole thing will be under the table, no one need ever hear about it, and like Manjoume before him, Kaiser Ryou trusts the creepy stranger because that's what the script says he does. Seriously, is anyone on this show even the least bit genre savvy?
One long-ass scene transition into the underground later, and we're in a room with a big cage in the middle. A man announces that the main event for today shall be Death Matches, and for some reason all the people watching are wearing the kind of masks that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wore. I don't get it. In any event, in the Red Corner, he is the Guard of Hell who's won over 20 matches in a row, Mad Dog Inukai! Wow, same thing with Monkey Saruyama, eh? I guess that counts as a theme, if you squint a lot. Oh, and Inukai has really big muscles, and lots of scars. Why that's necessary to play a children's card game, I'm not sure. And of course, over in the Blue corner, is the new challenger Hell Kaiser Ryou. Blah blah blah, electro-shock collars are strapped to Inukai and Ryou, and apparently Ryou did not read the brochure. Saruyama explains that they are 'damage amplifiers', and that even the slightest damage will flood his body with pain, and he's not allowed to leave the cage until the duel is over. Though even then, there's no guarantee, heh heh heh...trash talk from Inukai, and the duel begins. Inukai goes first, and summons Acid Slime in defense position, then sets a card to end his turn.
Ryou's turn, he sets a card and activates Time Capsule, and what do you know, he special summons Cyber Dragon! Apparently Acid Slime's effect is that Ryou will take 800 points of damage when it is destroyed, but that's become entirely academic, since Inukai goes and activates his trap card, Acid Rust Machine Virus; by sacrificing a Water monster he controls, all machine monsters on Ryou's field, in his hand, and any he draws for the next three turns will be destroyed and sent to the grave. Basically a machine-specific version of Crush-Card Virus. Cyber Dragon is destroyed, and oh, this is different, Kaiser Ryou takes 500 damage, cue the damage amplifiers. Blah blah blah, we go over shit that we already know because the writers think we're morons, and only now does Ryou realize what he's gotten himself into. Christ, did that losing streak also strip him of his IQ? Seriously man, he didn't trick you, you just walked into an obvious trap so that marketing could retool your character into something more popular! Blah blah blah, this is where it's really at, the Pro League is like lukewarm water by comparison, and more heckling from the crowd. Goddamnit, get back to the bondage of angst!
Anyway, Ryou ends his turn, Inukai takes his and plays Contingency Fee; Ryou gets to draw until he has six cards in his hand, and for each card so drawn, Inukai will gain 1000 life points. Furthermore, Acid Rust Machine Virus is still in effect, so Inukai goes through the cards that Ryou had just drawn, and what do you know, none of them are machines. Inukai's fine with that though, because he'll just go and play Card Destruction, so Inukai discards three and draws three, while Ryou discards six and draws six, and now Inukai gets to go through Ryou's entire hand. Ryou does not like being toyed with like this, and oh, he's got four machine monsters in his hand, down into the grave they all go, and Ryou takes 2000 points of damage for his trouble. Ryou reels from the pain as Inukai plays Pot of Greed, and then summons Clone Slime in defense position. Then he sets two cards to end his turn. Fuck, Ryou's in a bad bad place, isn't he?
EYECATCH!
Ryou's turn, he draws Future Fusion, plays it, but Inukai activates Slime Jammer, discarding a 'Slime' monster in his hand to negate and destroy an opponent's spell or trap card, in this case Future Fusion. Furthermore, the card Inukai sent to the grave was Draw Slime, and when that gets sent to the grave, he can draw a card. Damn. Inukai says that if Kaiser Ryou wants to summon a machine monster that badly, he'll let him, and so he activates his other trap card, Despised Treaty; the opponent gets to special summon a level-4 or lower monster from their deck to the field, but if he does, then Inukai gets to draw 2 cards. If Ryou does not opt to summon a monster, then Inukai will take 1000 points of damage, and Ryou is determined to bring out Cyber End Dragon, so Ryou brings out Proto Cyber Dragonn from his deck, buy your copy in the latest booster pack today! While it is on the field, it is treated as Cyber Dragon, Inukai draws two cards, Ryou attacks, but oh, when Clone Slime is attacked, Inukai can send it to the grave and special summon another Slime monster from the grave in its place and force the battle to continue, so Inukai brings back Acid Slime, it gets destroyed, and Ryou takes another 800 points of damage. Everyone laughs at Ryou's pain, and he ends his turn.
Inukai declares that the dance of death isn't over yet, and plays the spell card Slime Vase, which lets him special summon a Slime monster from his hand, Multiple Slime, in attack position. Which has only 1500 attack points...okay...he attack and destroys Proto-Cyber Dragon for 400 points of damage, and Inukai sets another two cards. Blah blah blah, Saruyama says nothing the least bit interesting, Ryou begs to be let out, Saruyama says that he'll have to win for that to happen, but Ryou says that that's impossible, if he draws a machine-type monster on his turn he'll be finished, and now Saruyama is apparently a psychologist, since now he's psychoanalyzing Ryou, declaring him as the kind of person who gives up when the situation disagrees with him...which really doesn't follow from anything we've been shown, but let's pretend that it does, since the writers will be doing so. Also, Ryou never thought about winning and he'll need to choose victory to survive. But, the whole "point" of the last season, to the extent that there was a point, was that you should only duel for fun and not to win, that way you get to win all the time! This show is just so jumbled about what it's trying to communicate to us, isn't it? Also, why the fuck would you listen to a creeper like Saruyama in the first place? Christ, more and more this episode is a retread of the Manjoume vs. Saiou duel in episode 61; I don't think these fuckers realize how lazy they are!
Inukai is cleaning his ear out of boredom, and Ryou takes his turn. I guess he didn't draw a machine card, but why Inukai didn't confirm this, I don't know. Now Ryou gets the card from Time Capsule, and now Ryou plays Power Bond with Cybernetic Fusion Support, paying half his life points to bring out Cyber End Dragon with 8000 attack points. But Inukai goes and activates his trap card, Slime Hole, destroying a monster that the opponent has just special summoned and recovering life points equal to the destroyed monster's attack points, so not only is Cyber End Dragon gone, Inukai now has 15000 life points. Inukai declares Ryou's defeat a certainty, but Ryou disagrees. Very strongly. So strongly that he forgets that this is not DBZ and people do not just spontaneously generate aura powers for no particular reason. But yeah, Ryou really doesn't want to lose. Yep, he just doesn't give a fuck anymore, this show's been treating him like shit for too long now, all he cares about is winning. Blah blah blah, Ryou goes over his old spiel about always respecting your opponent, and now he's all 'fuck that shit', he just wants to win. Seriously, what the fuck is with the stupid power aura? Seriously, writers, animators, sometimes less is more! Ryou activates Call of the Living Dead and brings back Proto-Cyber Dragon, which now gets to act as Cyber Dragon once more, and then Ryou plays Overload Fusion from his hand; with this he removes from play Machine monsters on his field and in his grave to fusion summon a Machine monster. You know, just like Miracle Fusion.
The monster in question is the titular Chimeratech Overdragon, which requres at least two machine monsters, one of which must be Cyber Dragon, hence Ryou bringing Proto-Cyber Dragon back from the grave, and in this case, Ryou uses six monsters, calling this his struggle for existence. Now, while Chimeratech Overdragon may not look all that impressive, it does have 4800 attack points, 800 for each monster used in its fusion. Ryou attacks and destroys Multiple Slime for 3300 points of damage, but now Inukai gets to special summon three Slime tokens in attack position, and he'll also be activating Trap Trip. With this, he returns a trap card from his grave to his hand. Ryou notes that Acid Rust Machine Virus gave him so much trouble before, but he won't let him use it again, and if one good thing has come of this retooling, it is Ryou's voice. Inukai declares that he just needs to keep one of his Slime tokens on the field and he's got this won, but Ryou says he's going to win on this turn! For Chimeratech Overdragon can attack once for every monster sacrificed for the fusion, which means its got 5 more attacks to go. Ouch, this monster's a beast! Note that in the real card game, it can attack a number of the opponent's monsters equal to the number of monsters sacrificed for the fusion. Either way, Kaiser Ryou's got this won.
Big explosion smashes Inukai through the cage, his life points drop to zero, and what the fuck is with Saruyama's eyes? Anyway, now Ryou is Hell Kaiser Ryou, a monster born in the underground. Scene Transition, and now Hell Kaiser Ryou's winning it big in the pro leagues, and the whole of the underground was just a plot device to facilitate Ryou's retooling. And speaking of that retooling, check out that black leather outfit! Shut the hell up Shou, no one gives a fuck about how you feel about this, we only care about how this affects Asuka and Fubuki, who are both there. Seriously, show, your priorities are fucked up. End Episode.
NEXT TIME! A MOTHERFUCKING CLIP SHOW! EPISODE TITLE, JUDAI'S NEW YEAR DREAM DUEL! Card of the week is Power Bond, I don't give a fuck.
You know, this could have been an interesting episode, but unfortunately, marketing's naked desire to retool Ryou to cash in on the 'Darker and edgier' trend mucked that up. Also, that was not nearly enough in the way of bondage of angst. Show, I am disappoint.