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Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 106
Huh, this is a weird way to start the episode; we've got roiling storm clouds, and some female voice asking where her beloved Judai is. Suddenly, big eye right in the middle of the screen. It's kind of vertical, with the eyelids to the left and right instead of the top and bottom as with most eyes. And now it's a bright sunny day! So yeah, that was weird, but it will more or less be explained at a later point...whether or not that's a good thing, will be discussed when we get there. And oh, is this precious; some guy on a boat provided by Kaiba Corp is headed for Duel Academia, and he's talking into a tape recorder. Can you say, "Clumsy Exposition Device"? Good, I knew you could. Also, the guy has what I think are supposed to be prayer beads around his neck, but I'm not entirely sure that that is what they are, or what the point of that would be. Who knows, maybe the writers will build on that. In any event, Unnamed Exposition Guy says that the only problem with the cruise is that there are only five passengers altogether, counting himself. Our speaker names himself, he is Amon Garam. Up next is a guy with an incredibly freaky looking crocodile named Jim Crocodile Cook. Wow, subtle. Then again, Amon is a play on Amun, Ancient Egyptian Deity of the Air if the Yugioh wikia isn't horribly misleading me, so that will probably have some painfully unsubtle significance later on too. Appearing next on Exposition Introduction are Austin O' Brian and PROFESSOR COBRA. Apparently they don't like to leave their rooms, and now we get a good look at O' Brian and...why does his Duel Disc double as a gun? Is...is he going to shoot people with his cards? In any event, his posing is interrupted by someone knocking at his door, and it is PROFESSOR COBRA. Apparently O' Brian wanted PROFESSOR COBRA to stop by so that he could show him Amon Garam's profile. Evidently Amon Garam has been snooping, and PROFESSOR COBRA does not approve of snooping. He tells O' Brian that when they get to Duel Academia, they'll be doing the "usual duels", and to be prepared. Then PROFESSOR COBRA lampshades the "as you know, bob" nature of what he just said, and leaves. Finally, the fifth passenger...is referred to as "Ghost", since apparently he's not actually on the boat despite the passenger manifest saying that he boarded. Do not expect any sort of explanation for how the fifth passenger could, or even would want to avoid Amon so thoroughly. Then Jim Crocodile Cook decides that he needs to make his own contribution, and so spouts some Engrish while holding his pet crocodile over his head. Either that thing is stuffed, or Jim is freakishly strong.
TITLE SCREEN! JUDAI AND JOHAN OF THE GEM BEAST DECK jem considered suing, but decided that would be too outrageous, even for her.
So we're over at the Osiris Red dorm, and Shou runs up to yell for Judai, but it is Kenzan who comes down. Shou asks him where Judai is, and I can't help but notice that Shou is now wearing an Obelisk Blue uniform. Kenzan says he hasn't seen Judai in a while, Shou wonders if Judai's managed to forget that today is the opening ceremony, Kenzan was apparently unaware, Shou wonders if Kenzan intends to go in his mangled Ra Yellow uniform, and Kenzan finally comments on Shou now being in Obelisk Blue, which apparently happened off-screen between of the last episode and the start of this one. The fact that this received so little fanfare worries me for some reason. Also, Shou has new glasses, but they look exactly the same as his old ones, so who cares about a weak gag like that? Then Shou resumes his whining about Judai, and now we're back to seeing weird stuff again. Judai is in a barren desert wasteland with a green sky and three suns in the sky, which would put him in that Ancient Egypt Pastiche from season one. No, this fact has no significance whatsoever, I just thought I'd get that out of the way. Also, Duel Academia is right in the middle of it all, like it was cleanly lifted away from the island and gently deposited in its present location. Also, statues of all his friends, and Professor Chronos. The statues are made of sand and so they blow away in the wind, leaving Judai very confused. Not a very impressive trick I should say. Also, this is horrifying to him for some reason, and now he wakes up. Apparently he fell asleep on top of the roof of Duel academia. In the middle of the day. With not even a pillow. Yeah. Winged Kurioh appears, and Judai seems to think that Winged Kuriboh awoke him from that dream, which would be nice if there were any basis for that, and HOLY SHIT, IS THAT A NEW TRACK THAT I AM HEARING? Wow, I can't honestly believe I got so excited about that. Anyway, Judai spots some glowy thing, and it comes out and...it is some ugly little spirit animal thing. I'm sure its supposed to be cute, but it looks like some hideous mutant thing that should be put out of its misery before it can destroy an entire ecosystem.
Judai wonders what the hell this creature is supposed to be, and then a woman calls out for Ruby. Apparently that is the name of the little abomination before all that is good and pure in the world, and it crawls up some very effeminate guy's body. Oh, that was his voice from before? Huh. Anyway, they won't say his name for a while, but this is the mysterious fifth passenger Amon Garam mentioned before, Johan Anderson. Just looking at him I get overwhelming Mary Sue vibes off of him. I think it has to do with his design being a pretty blatant palette swap of Judai's with a few minor tweaks. Judai says hi, and Johan explains that the freak that should not be is called Ruby Carbuncle. Johan says that it is a legendary animal, meaning a creature that some guy hundreds of years ago made up, either out of malice, a desire to entertain people, or just plain delusion or misunderstanding of an actual animal. Johan asks if the furball floating over Judai's shoulder is Winged Kuriboh, and that this proves that he is in fact talking to Judai Yuki. Judai is shocked to hear that Johan can see Winged Kuriboh, and Johan says that he's been able to see Duel Spirits ever since he was little. Just like Judai! Seriously, they actually say this. Suddenly, we get a vision of the roiling storm clouds and creepy eyes as Judai wonders just when it was that he started seeing Duel Spirits. Oh, like they're going to answer THAT question. Also, having Judai question this sort of thing now, when he's spent the past two seasons being utterly blase about it all, does not work for me. Well, that's over with again, and Judai notes that he's never seen this mysterious and dashing stranger before and wonders if he's a freshman. Johan says that that works, and since Judai is a moron, he does not question this any further. They then grab each others hands, look each other in the eye, say that it is as though they've met before, and then they start making out and it is really hot and steamy and Johan asks him to be gentle for it is his first time and...
What do you mean that last part didn't happen? *watches that scene again* Huh, I guess you're right. I've no idea why I thought otherwise; after all, all they're doing is holding hands for an inordinately long period of time as their cute mascot spirits start fighting for no reason. I've no idea how I managed to misinterpret that so epically. Anyway, Shou and Kenzan find them not in throes of heated passion, tell him that he's going to be late, and Judai tells his soul-mate as of one minute and twenty seconds ago that he has to leave now. And Johan just stands there and smiles. Well, at the opening ceremony, Samejima goes on and on, and we get a shot of a random Ra Yellow shrimp who will surely be of no significance whatsoever. Kenzan asks Manjoume if he's really okay with being in Osiris Red, and Manjoume says it doesn't matter anymore, and then wonders what the hell Kenzan is doing there, since he's supposed to be in Ra Yellow. Now the freshman representative, Rei Saotome, will be taking an oath. How one picks a freshman representative, I've no idea. A brief bit of stupid bickering between Kenzan and Manjoume, and now Rei is up on stage. The oath is pretty standard boilerplate, nothing the least bit interesting, and as she walks back off stage, she winks at Judai. Like before, this attention from Rei horrifies him, and Asuka also glares in Judai's general direction. Apparently she does not approve of this. And that, ladies and gentlemen, will conclude the far, far, FAR too brief reference to Rei and Asuka of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Yeah, even this is plainly setting-up for some inane love triangle between Rei, Judai, and Asuka is done with it, making me wonder why they even bothered taking it this far. Also, Kenzan feels sorry for Judai...is there something about Rei that is supposed to come off as so horrifying that I'm not getting? Yeah, she's significantly younger than everyone else, but considering what ends up happening this season, that can hardly be construed as problematic.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Samejima announces that since everyone but Judai sucks so much, though he says it in much kinder words, he's invited the top students of the four other branches of Duel Academia to come on over and whip everyone into shape. Wow, shock of shocks, Judai thinks this is awesome.
EYECATCH!
Anyway, it is now time for formal introductions; from the East Campus, Amon Garam! From the West Campus comes Austin O' Brian. Samejima takes a moment to look at O' Brian for some reason, and now comes the representative from the South Campus, Jim Crocodile Cook. And he's still carrying his crocodile over his head. No one seems to find this remarkable. And now, from the North Campus, Johan Andersen...wait a second...Manjoume was at the North Campus, and beat everyone there. So where the hell was Johan then? What, was he on sabbatical or something? Glaring plot holes set aside for the moment, Johan does not come out. As everyone wonders where the frick Johan is, Manjoume is all "Surely not the Johan Andersen of the Gem Beast Deck"? Judai and Kenzan ask what he's talking about, and according to Manjoume, the Manjoume used all their assets to buy to Gem Beast cards from Industrial Illusions. Really? All their assets? I mean, I know cards can get expensive, but I'm pretty sure a multinational conglomerate with ties to nations and businesses all around the world would not need nearly that kind of scratch to buy a few cards. And now we get some drivel about ancient documents from Julius Caeser saying that as some point Julius had seven gems gathered from around the world to be made into a tablet as proof of the Roman Empire's power. But when they were enroute to Rome, a storm struck and sunk the boat they were on. Um, what the hell was so special about these seven specific gems again? Nothing at all? Because in the absence of you establishing anything special about them, that's what I'm going to have to go with. And so, this led Pegasus to use the components of the seven gems, which I guess he was able to find at the bottom of the Mediterranean, to create seven cards. This is really just a reminder that Shin Yoshida and the rest of the anime writing staff do not understand what Pegasus did in the first place. When he went to the Shrine of Wedju and found all those stone tablets, he didn't chip away at them and put pieces of them into each and every card; he was inspired by them, and at the behest of the Millennium Eye he used those images he saw to put together the first modern Duel Monsters cards. The only ones that were special were the God Cards, by virtue of them being God Cards, but all the rest were perfectly normal. But of course, that's just not good enough for the anime, now is it?
Anyway, Johan Andersen won the cards in a tournament, and Judai hopes he can duel Johan real soon. Gee, I don't think Judai will have long to wait. Suddenly, Judai's one true love, AKA Johan arrives, and apologizes for being late, the way Judai usually is. Blah blah blah, Judai wonders if Johan has seen Johan everywhere, and if you were the least bit shocked at what happens next, there is no hope for you. Yes Judai, that is Johan. You may make out with him now. Blah blah blah, formal introduction, Amon notes that Johan does actually exist, for certain values of existing considering what we're going to learn about him in just a little bit. Jim introduces himself to Johan, and I forgot to mention this before, but Jim has bandages over his right eye. There is a very, very, VERY stupid story behind this, but that will have to wait until later. Also, the crocodile is alive, and it doesn't seem to care for Johan. Suddenly, PROFESSOR COBRA! Samejima introduces PROFESSOR COBRA as the head of the West Campus, who will be providing a special course this year that will most certainly not result in horrific agony and suffering for countless people that could have been easily avoided if Samejima had just not been a raging moron. PROFESSOR COBRA steps forward, and says he will not waste time with small talk. SMALL TALK IS FOR THE WEAK! Instead, real combat! He announces an exhibition match, which apparently catches the Duel Academia staff off guard, because they are dum and their names are mud. Wow, real subtle effect there guys, I've no idea if PROFESSOR COBRA is the villain! Also, he's already got the two duelists he wants in mind, and you're totally not going to believe it, he picks Judai and Johan. Stupid pratfalls with Manjoume, and Judai is so excited that he gets to duel someone with such "legendary cards". Wow, the standard for legendary has really dropped lately, hasn't it? Painful comic relief with Manjoume and Ojama Yellow, Manjoume yells out that he's the flipping champion of Genex, like anyone would even care, and of course Johan notes the presence of Ojama Yellow.
Up on the stage, PROFESSOR COBRA commands Judai and Johan to put their right hands forward, and they do so. He then puts these cuffs that automatically lock onto their wrists, and Judai wonders wtf. PROFESSOR COBRA says that they are a present, and also for no particular reason the duel will be delayed by an hour, so there's no reason at all for anyone to follow him and make sure that he isn't setting up a ridiculously convoluted villainous scheme or anything like that. Because that's totally not what he's doing, for PROFESSOR COBRA is not a villain. So yeah, PROFESSOR COBRA heads out and...is that that stupid lab where they experimented on that dueling monkey? Why...? He goes inside, and apparently it was abandoned at some point, presumably when the researchers stopped and asked themselves why they were wasting their lives, and this is just such a weird call back; of all the episodes to draw upon, why the one with the Dueling Monkey? That just sabotages any effort towards this narrative being taken the least bit seriously. Suddenly, some thing in his hand starts glowing, and its some sort of weird compass thing, minus the compass needle. Suddenly, we cut away to Judai and Johan starting up their duel. What, it took PROFESSOR COBRA a whole hour just to make it that far? With those huge long legs of his? Judai says he's really excited like that means anything, and Johan feels the exact same way. Yeah...anyway, back to PROFESSOR COBRA, he opens his briefcase to reveal an oval capsule with an orange goo inside. He puts it on the ground, and it starts doing glowy stuff. And now back to the duel. I'm getting whiplash here.
Johan goes first, and everyone is just so ridiculously on edge about whether or not he's going to summon a Gem Beast, it is laughable. And yes, it is a Gem Beast; Johan summons in defense Gem Beast Emerald Turtle. And everyone oohs and aahs at it's summoning sequence, and then it starts talking to Johan, saying that it was having such a good nap. Johan starts talking to it in turn, and blah blah blah, there's a reason why the monsters didn't talk in the original series. Ever. Filler doesn't count. More blah blah blah between Emerald Turtle and Johan, and Johan says that they can't underestimate their opponent today, meaning that Johan usually does underestimate his opponents, and win anyway. So, like Judai, Johan is a prick, and the writers do not realize it. Judai is agog at Johan talking with his imaginary friends, just like him, but Johan decides to one-up Judai by saying that the spirits that live in his cards are his family. That is disturbing and I will not dwell upon it. Judai, being Judai, thinks this is interesting and not disturbing as all hell, and we cut to the Peanut Gallery, and anyone who isn't Manjoume has no idea what the hell Judai and Johan are even talking about. The writers seem to think that this elevates Judai and Johan beyond their comprehension. It does not. Anyway, Johan sets a card to end his turn. Judai's turn, he summons Aqua Dolphin, and we get a big production about Aqua Dolphin shooting down from space to remind us that both Judai and Johan have super duper special one-of-a-kind decks. Johan is all ZOMG about Aqua Dolphin, and everyone acts like something impressive is taking place. It is not. Then Judai discards Neos from his hand to activate Aqua Dolphin's effect, letting him look through Johan's hand, and he opts to destroy Ruby Carbuncle, which with 300 attack points is the only one Aqua Dolphin could have destroyed, sending it to the grave to deal 500 damage to Johan. Johan does not approve of Judai destroying Ruby Carbuncle, and then Judai activates Oversoul to special summon Neos from his grave.
Johan says that if they weren't in the middle of a duel he'd ask Neos for his autograph, because we haven't emphasized enough that Johan, like Judai, is completely out of his mind. But Johan was waiting for Judai to summon a monster like that, and activates his trap card, Induced Summon; when the opponent special summons a monster to the field, both players can special summon a level-four or lower monster from their hand. Judai is relieved, for he was worried that Johan was going to destroy Neos, which is a poorly written prompt for Johan to exposit on his philosophy of dueling; he does not use cards that have destruction effects, because he wants to be able to see his opponent duel to his full potential. I...honestly do not care about this drivel. It means nothing to me. Again, Judai regards this with the same level of interest that he gives to a plastic bag drifting in the wind, and now he goes ahead and summons Gran Mole. Johan goes ahead and summons Gem Beast Cobalt Eagle, and he also talks. They're all going to talk, aren't they? Because they're Johan's "Family"...no, don't think about that, nothing good can come of it. Also, Samejima finally notices that PROFESSOR COBRA has not returned. Judai has Neos and Gran Mole attack Turtle and Eagle, respectively, which leaves Johan open to a direct attack by Aqua Dolphin. Lots of smoke gets kicked up in an obvious effort to keep us from noticing something until the writers feel like sharing it with us, and Johan takes 600 damage from Aqua Dolphin. Twinkly sounds start playing, and now that the smoke has finally cleared, we can see an Emerald and a Cobalt on Johan's side of the field. Johan now explains what the hell is supposed to be so damn special about the Gem Beasts; when destroyed on the field, they do not go to the grave but are instead placed in the spell/trap zone. That's...a gimmick. That's all it is. Everyone thinks this is so damn impressive, even though this would easily lead to your spell/trap zone getting clogged with useless cards, and hey, both Judai and Johan are so super fired up about how the Gem Beasts never give up. Ah, is the episode over already? No, now we get to see PROFESSOR COBRA looking into a lava lamp of PURE EVIL, as he laughs evilly. Now the episode is over.
NEXT TIME! The least subtle duel in all the world continues, and even Shou can't tell the difference between Judai and Johan. This should have been a warning sign to the writers. EPISODE TITLE, THE NEO-SPACIANS VS. THE GEM BEASTS. card of the week is gran mole, you really would have expected it to have been one of the gem beasts.
So yeah...Johan...he is exactly like Judai. Which means I hate him on principal. Though I do have a theory, that theory being that Johan was originally conceived as a female character, but was changed at the last second to make him more popular with the fandom. I mean, just look at all the Mary-Sue markers Johan's already accrued, and look to how many more he's going to in the future. You could make a drinking game of it.
TITLE SCREEN! JUDAI AND JOHAN OF THE GEM BEAST DECK jem considered suing, but decided that would be too outrageous, even for her.
So we're over at the Osiris Red dorm, and Shou runs up to yell for Judai, but it is Kenzan who comes down. Shou asks him where Judai is, and I can't help but notice that Shou is now wearing an Obelisk Blue uniform. Kenzan says he hasn't seen Judai in a while, Shou wonders if Judai's managed to forget that today is the opening ceremony, Kenzan was apparently unaware, Shou wonders if Kenzan intends to go in his mangled Ra Yellow uniform, and Kenzan finally comments on Shou now being in Obelisk Blue, which apparently happened off-screen between of the last episode and the start of this one. The fact that this received so little fanfare worries me for some reason. Also, Shou has new glasses, but they look exactly the same as his old ones, so who cares about a weak gag like that? Then Shou resumes his whining about Judai, and now we're back to seeing weird stuff again. Judai is in a barren desert wasteland with a green sky and three suns in the sky, which would put him in that Ancient Egypt Pastiche from season one. No, this fact has no significance whatsoever, I just thought I'd get that out of the way. Also, Duel Academia is right in the middle of it all, like it was cleanly lifted away from the island and gently deposited in its present location. Also, statues of all his friends, and Professor Chronos. The statues are made of sand and so they blow away in the wind, leaving Judai very confused. Not a very impressive trick I should say. Also, this is horrifying to him for some reason, and now he wakes up. Apparently he fell asleep on top of the roof of Duel academia. In the middle of the day. With not even a pillow. Yeah. Winged Kurioh appears, and Judai seems to think that Winged Kuriboh awoke him from that dream, which would be nice if there were any basis for that, and HOLY SHIT, IS THAT A NEW TRACK THAT I AM HEARING? Wow, I can't honestly believe I got so excited about that. Anyway, Judai spots some glowy thing, and it comes out and...it is some ugly little spirit animal thing. I'm sure its supposed to be cute, but it looks like some hideous mutant thing that should be put out of its misery before it can destroy an entire ecosystem.
Judai wonders what the hell this creature is supposed to be, and then a woman calls out for Ruby. Apparently that is the name of the little abomination before all that is good and pure in the world, and it crawls up some very effeminate guy's body. Oh, that was his voice from before? Huh. Anyway, they won't say his name for a while, but this is the mysterious fifth passenger Amon Garam mentioned before, Johan Anderson. Just looking at him I get overwhelming Mary Sue vibes off of him. I think it has to do with his design being a pretty blatant palette swap of Judai's with a few minor tweaks. Judai says hi, and Johan explains that the freak that should not be is called Ruby Carbuncle. Johan says that it is a legendary animal, meaning a creature that some guy hundreds of years ago made up, either out of malice, a desire to entertain people, or just plain delusion or misunderstanding of an actual animal. Johan asks if the furball floating over Judai's shoulder is Winged Kuriboh, and that this proves that he is in fact talking to Judai Yuki. Judai is shocked to hear that Johan can see Winged Kuriboh, and Johan says that he's been able to see Duel Spirits ever since he was little. Just like Judai! Seriously, they actually say this. Suddenly, we get a vision of the roiling storm clouds and creepy eyes as Judai wonders just when it was that he started seeing Duel Spirits. Oh, like they're going to answer THAT question. Also, having Judai question this sort of thing now, when he's spent the past two seasons being utterly blase about it all, does not work for me. Well, that's over with again, and Judai notes that he's never seen this mysterious and dashing stranger before and wonders if he's a freshman. Johan says that that works, and since Judai is a moron, he does not question this any further. They then grab each others hands, look each other in the eye, say that it is as though they've met before, and then they start making out and it is really hot and steamy and Johan asks him to be gentle for it is his first time and...
What do you mean that last part didn't happen? *watches that scene again* Huh, I guess you're right. I've no idea why I thought otherwise; after all, all they're doing is holding hands for an inordinately long period of time as their cute mascot spirits start fighting for no reason. I've no idea how I managed to misinterpret that so epically. Anyway, Shou and Kenzan find them not in throes of heated passion, tell him that he's going to be late, and Judai tells his soul-mate as of one minute and twenty seconds ago that he has to leave now. And Johan just stands there and smiles. Well, at the opening ceremony, Samejima goes on and on, and we get a shot of a random Ra Yellow shrimp who will surely be of no significance whatsoever. Kenzan asks Manjoume if he's really okay with being in Osiris Red, and Manjoume says it doesn't matter anymore, and then wonders what the hell Kenzan is doing there, since he's supposed to be in Ra Yellow. Now the freshman representative, Rei Saotome, will be taking an oath. How one picks a freshman representative, I've no idea. A brief bit of stupid bickering between Kenzan and Manjoume, and now Rei is up on stage. The oath is pretty standard boilerplate, nothing the least bit interesting, and as she walks back off stage, she winks at Judai. Like before, this attention from Rei horrifies him, and Asuka also glares in Judai's general direction. Apparently she does not approve of this. And that, ladies and gentlemen, will conclude the far, far, FAR too brief reference to Rei and Asuka of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Yeah, even this is plainly setting-up for some inane love triangle between Rei, Judai, and Asuka is done with it, making me wonder why they even bothered taking it this far. Also, Kenzan feels sorry for Judai...is there something about Rei that is supposed to come off as so horrifying that I'm not getting? Yeah, she's significantly younger than everyone else, but considering what ends up happening this season, that can hardly be construed as problematic.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Samejima announces that since everyone but Judai sucks so much, though he says it in much kinder words, he's invited the top students of the four other branches of Duel Academia to come on over and whip everyone into shape. Wow, shock of shocks, Judai thinks this is awesome.
EYECATCH!
Anyway, it is now time for formal introductions; from the East Campus, Amon Garam! From the West Campus comes Austin O' Brian. Samejima takes a moment to look at O' Brian for some reason, and now comes the representative from the South Campus, Jim Crocodile Cook. And he's still carrying his crocodile over his head. No one seems to find this remarkable. And now, from the North Campus, Johan Andersen...wait a second...Manjoume was at the North Campus, and beat everyone there. So where the hell was Johan then? What, was he on sabbatical or something? Glaring plot holes set aside for the moment, Johan does not come out. As everyone wonders where the frick Johan is, Manjoume is all "Surely not the Johan Andersen of the Gem Beast Deck"? Judai and Kenzan ask what he's talking about, and according to Manjoume, the Manjoume used all their assets to buy to Gem Beast cards from Industrial Illusions. Really? All their assets? I mean, I know cards can get expensive, but I'm pretty sure a multinational conglomerate with ties to nations and businesses all around the world would not need nearly that kind of scratch to buy a few cards. And now we get some drivel about ancient documents from Julius Caeser saying that as some point Julius had seven gems gathered from around the world to be made into a tablet as proof of the Roman Empire's power. But when they were enroute to Rome, a storm struck and sunk the boat they were on. Um, what the hell was so special about these seven specific gems again? Nothing at all? Because in the absence of you establishing anything special about them, that's what I'm going to have to go with. And so, this led Pegasus to use the components of the seven gems, which I guess he was able to find at the bottom of the Mediterranean, to create seven cards. This is really just a reminder that Shin Yoshida and the rest of the anime writing staff do not understand what Pegasus did in the first place. When he went to the Shrine of Wedju and found all those stone tablets, he didn't chip away at them and put pieces of them into each and every card; he was inspired by them, and at the behest of the Millennium Eye he used those images he saw to put together the first modern Duel Monsters cards. The only ones that were special were the God Cards, by virtue of them being God Cards, but all the rest were perfectly normal. But of course, that's just not good enough for the anime, now is it?
Anyway, Johan Andersen won the cards in a tournament, and Judai hopes he can duel Johan real soon. Gee, I don't think Judai will have long to wait. Suddenly, Judai's one true love, AKA Johan arrives, and apologizes for being late, the way Judai usually is. Blah blah blah, Judai wonders if Johan has seen Johan everywhere, and if you were the least bit shocked at what happens next, there is no hope for you. Yes Judai, that is Johan. You may make out with him now. Blah blah blah, formal introduction, Amon notes that Johan does actually exist, for certain values of existing considering what we're going to learn about him in just a little bit. Jim introduces himself to Johan, and I forgot to mention this before, but Jim has bandages over his right eye. There is a very, very, VERY stupid story behind this, but that will have to wait until later. Also, the crocodile is alive, and it doesn't seem to care for Johan. Suddenly, PROFESSOR COBRA! Samejima introduces PROFESSOR COBRA as the head of the West Campus, who will be providing a special course this year that will most certainly not result in horrific agony and suffering for countless people that could have been easily avoided if Samejima had just not been a raging moron. PROFESSOR COBRA steps forward, and says he will not waste time with small talk. SMALL TALK IS FOR THE WEAK! Instead, real combat! He announces an exhibition match, which apparently catches the Duel Academia staff off guard, because they are dum and their names are mud. Wow, real subtle effect there guys, I've no idea if PROFESSOR COBRA is the villain! Also, he's already got the two duelists he wants in mind, and you're totally not going to believe it, he picks Judai and Johan. Stupid pratfalls with Manjoume, and Judai is so excited that he gets to duel someone with such "legendary cards". Wow, the standard for legendary has really dropped lately, hasn't it? Painful comic relief with Manjoume and Ojama Yellow, Manjoume yells out that he's the flipping champion of Genex, like anyone would even care, and of course Johan notes the presence of Ojama Yellow.
Up on the stage, PROFESSOR COBRA commands Judai and Johan to put their right hands forward, and they do so. He then puts these cuffs that automatically lock onto their wrists, and Judai wonders wtf. PROFESSOR COBRA says that they are a present, and also for no particular reason the duel will be delayed by an hour, so there's no reason at all for anyone to follow him and make sure that he isn't setting up a ridiculously convoluted villainous scheme or anything like that. Because that's totally not what he's doing, for PROFESSOR COBRA is not a villain. So yeah, PROFESSOR COBRA heads out and...is that that stupid lab where they experimented on that dueling monkey? Why...? He goes inside, and apparently it was abandoned at some point, presumably when the researchers stopped and asked themselves why they were wasting their lives, and this is just such a weird call back; of all the episodes to draw upon, why the one with the Dueling Monkey? That just sabotages any effort towards this narrative being taken the least bit seriously. Suddenly, some thing in his hand starts glowing, and its some sort of weird compass thing, minus the compass needle. Suddenly, we cut away to Judai and Johan starting up their duel. What, it took PROFESSOR COBRA a whole hour just to make it that far? With those huge long legs of his? Judai says he's really excited like that means anything, and Johan feels the exact same way. Yeah...anyway, back to PROFESSOR COBRA, he opens his briefcase to reveal an oval capsule with an orange goo inside. He puts it on the ground, and it starts doing glowy stuff. And now back to the duel. I'm getting whiplash here.
Johan goes first, and everyone is just so ridiculously on edge about whether or not he's going to summon a Gem Beast, it is laughable. And yes, it is a Gem Beast; Johan summons in defense Gem Beast Emerald Turtle. And everyone oohs and aahs at it's summoning sequence, and then it starts talking to Johan, saying that it was having such a good nap. Johan starts talking to it in turn, and blah blah blah, there's a reason why the monsters didn't talk in the original series. Ever. Filler doesn't count. More blah blah blah between Emerald Turtle and Johan, and Johan says that they can't underestimate their opponent today, meaning that Johan usually does underestimate his opponents, and win anyway. So, like Judai, Johan is a prick, and the writers do not realize it. Judai is agog at Johan talking with his imaginary friends, just like him, but Johan decides to one-up Judai by saying that the spirits that live in his cards are his family. That is disturbing and I will not dwell upon it. Judai, being Judai, thinks this is interesting and not disturbing as all hell, and we cut to the Peanut Gallery, and anyone who isn't Manjoume has no idea what the hell Judai and Johan are even talking about. The writers seem to think that this elevates Judai and Johan beyond their comprehension. It does not. Anyway, Johan sets a card to end his turn. Judai's turn, he summons Aqua Dolphin, and we get a big production about Aqua Dolphin shooting down from space to remind us that both Judai and Johan have super duper special one-of-a-kind decks. Johan is all ZOMG about Aqua Dolphin, and everyone acts like something impressive is taking place. It is not. Then Judai discards Neos from his hand to activate Aqua Dolphin's effect, letting him look through Johan's hand, and he opts to destroy Ruby Carbuncle, which with 300 attack points is the only one Aqua Dolphin could have destroyed, sending it to the grave to deal 500 damage to Johan. Johan does not approve of Judai destroying Ruby Carbuncle, and then Judai activates Oversoul to special summon Neos from his grave.
Johan says that if they weren't in the middle of a duel he'd ask Neos for his autograph, because we haven't emphasized enough that Johan, like Judai, is completely out of his mind. But Johan was waiting for Judai to summon a monster like that, and activates his trap card, Induced Summon; when the opponent special summons a monster to the field, both players can special summon a level-four or lower monster from their hand. Judai is relieved, for he was worried that Johan was going to destroy Neos, which is a poorly written prompt for Johan to exposit on his philosophy of dueling; he does not use cards that have destruction effects, because he wants to be able to see his opponent duel to his full potential. I...honestly do not care about this drivel. It means nothing to me. Again, Judai regards this with the same level of interest that he gives to a plastic bag drifting in the wind, and now he goes ahead and summons Gran Mole. Johan goes ahead and summons Gem Beast Cobalt Eagle, and he also talks. They're all going to talk, aren't they? Because they're Johan's "Family"...no, don't think about that, nothing good can come of it. Also, Samejima finally notices that PROFESSOR COBRA has not returned. Judai has Neos and Gran Mole attack Turtle and Eagle, respectively, which leaves Johan open to a direct attack by Aqua Dolphin. Lots of smoke gets kicked up in an obvious effort to keep us from noticing something until the writers feel like sharing it with us, and Johan takes 600 damage from Aqua Dolphin. Twinkly sounds start playing, and now that the smoke has finally cleared, we can see an Emerald and a Cobalt on Johan's side of the field. Johan now explains what the hell is supposed to be so damn special about the Gem Beasts; when destroyed on the field, they do not go to the grave but are instead placed in the spell/trap zone. That's...a gimmick. That's all it is. Everyone thinks this is so damn impressive, even though this would easily lead to your spell/trap zone getting clogged with useless cards, and hey, both Judai and Johan are so super fired up about how the Gem Beasts never give up. Ah, is the episode over already? No, now we get to see PROFESSOR COBRA looking into a lava lamp of PURE EVIL, as he laughs evilly. Now the episode is over.
NEXT TIME! The least subtle duel in all the world continues, and even Shou can't tell the difference between Judai and Johan. This should have been a warning sign to the writers. EPISODE TITLE, THE NEO-SPACIANS VS. THE GEM BEASTS. card of the week is gran mole, you really would have expected it to have been one of the gem beasts.
So yeah...Johan...he is exactly like Judai. Which means I hate him on principal. Though I do have a theory, that theory being that Johan was originally conceived as a female character, but was changed at the last second to make him more popular with the fandom. I mean, just look at all the Mary-Sue markers Johan's already accrued, and look to how many more he's going to in the future. You could make a drinking game of it.
See icon for *good* example of sparkliness
Well, these foreign students are a disappointment. I'm comparing them to the foreign characters shown in canon (i.e. the original series), and it is not favorably. Also compare to the Ishtars, who were drawn with dark skin realistic for ancient Egyptians (or...people descended from them), but without any annoying stereotype traits.
No wonder Rei's popular- she and Asuka are all fans have. *sighs* Poor girls. They really do deserve better than this. And being forced into that mock spat over Juudai... Gah. He's nowhere near worth it. The Anzu/Yuugi/Rebecca love triangle, this is not.
Johan is just hilarious. I mean... I'd say he's a Gary Stu, but no, his whole aura screams SUE. I don't know if he was written to be a girl at first or if the writers just went overboard in trying to evoke the 'bishounen' look (which...well, the character designs here make it clear that they're very hit and miss about such things), but either way, Johan is far more Sue-like than Stu-like. He's just so sparkly!
And bwaha, his Ruby-whatever looks like a Pokemon; more specifically, a rip-off of the Eevolutions. From now on, I shall refer to it as Rubeon.
Haha, Johan is making season three more bearable so far! Though not in the way the writers intended.
PROFESSOR COBRA'S lava lamp of PURE EVIL is still cracking me up XD
*salutes* Congratulations on making it to season three!
...Now, let's see if I can find someone who'll accept a hit on that damned space dolphin...
Re: See icon for *good* example of sparkliness
Yeah, O' Brian and Jim are both really problematic, though I just wish I knew what the writers were even going for with Amon's design.
Not even close. Especially since this is the last you will ever really see of it for the rest of the season. It's just weird to me that the writers would bring her back for such an obvious purpose, and then fail to follow up on it. But you'll see what I mean as we get further on with Season 3.
I know! And as the rest of his role in the story plays out, it just makes the Mary-Sue comparison stronger and stronger.
Well, strictly speaking, both Ruby Carbuncle and the Eevolutions are both drawing on the same creature...but yeah, Johan is a pokemon trainer. And while I like Pokemon well enough, we shouldn't be mixing our shows like this.
Nothing is ever as the writers intend it, at least not on this show.
PROFESSOR COBRA warns you that it is not wise to mock the lava lamp of PURE EVIL!
Yeah, this is when GX stops epically failing in a generic shonen fashion, and starts failing in brand new ways unique to itself.
I wish I knew a guy, I really do.