cypsiman2: I still believe in my dreams (No Development)
[personal profile] cypsiman2
So we open to Edo beating some random schmo, and then he takes the guy's deck. But of course the Ultimate D-Card isn't in it, so Edo throws the cards away in a big hissy fit, and doesn't feel one tiny little bit of regret over assaulting an innocent third party. Still, at least he's doing something, as opposed to just sitting on that boat of his all day. Of course, considering that Edo had no basis for believing that that guy was the one who killed his father and stole the card, I'm not sure why he's acting so disappointed. Really, there's a difference between being a ruthless anti-hero, and just being stupid.

TITLE SCREEN! APPEAR! THE MYSTERIOUS WORLD CHAMP once again, it's not kouyou hibiki, so i don't care.

Oh hey, remember how Pegasus showed up like, five episodes ago to meet up with Samejima? Well, we're finally going to get around to that! Boy, isn't the pacing on this show wonderful? Pegasus asks how the Genex tournament is going, and Samejima says that there's been no sign of Ultimate D-card. You know, when Seto Kaiba hosted Battle City, he made sure that the Ghouls knew that he had his God Card Obelisk so that they would bring in their God Cards Osiris and Ra, which would allow him the chance to obtain them. Here, there's no real reason provided why someone who stole a rare, one-of-a-kind card would even participate in all this. Samejima asks if Pegasus's visit has anything to do with Edo's Father's killer, and Pegasus is all, 'no, I'm here to deliver clumsy exposition.'. For no apparent reason, Pegasus, who created a card game based on the dictates of the Millennium Eye which was created through Ancient Egyptian Blood Magic, has a space observatory. Furthermore, this space observatory has picked up something on the far side of the universe, and I'm guessing Pegasus will have slides, since he just closed the windows. Okay, according to Pegasus, millions of light years away there's this huge White Hole, the theoretical opposite of a Black Hole, and that all the energy its been spewing forth all landed on the earth ten years ago...so what? It's just radiation, the same as the kind we get from our own sun, just a bit more intense is all. The worst that could come of it is a slight surge in cancer rates, which while bad, is something for the doctors to worry about. Samejima asks if this has anything to do with what happened to Edo Phoenix's dad ten years ago, and not only is this an insanely huge leap of logic, but it doesn't even make any sense, even on its own terms. Pegasus, who still has no reason to be operating a deep space observatory in the first place, says that it's not just what happened to Edo's father, but in fact every bad thing to have ever happened to anyone, anywhere throughout all of history.

1. This makes no sense. Let's get that out of the way right now. The reasoning being used here simply does not follow; even if the radiation of this white hole were to somehow reach the earth in a pattern vaguely approximating the rise and fall of atrocities and disasters, that doesn't establish causality. Really, it's just painful to watch these idiots trying to use science to back their anti-science noise.

2. This makes no sense. Again, why is Pegasus even looking into this? He is an artist! He is an artist who was guided by an Ancient Egyptian Artifact to recreate the ancient battles in modern form to facilitate the recovery of the Pharaoh's memories, the consequences be damned. But, because the writers suddenly decided they wanted to have half-assed space themes, characters who have no interest whatsoever in space, like Kaiba and Pegasus, suddenly do, just to facilitate the plot.

3. This makes no sense. Shin Yoshida must have a really bad memory, because back in DOMA, the filler arc that he saw fit to inflict upon Yugioh continuity, he claimed that the Orichalcos Leviathen, through Dartz and DOMA, was the source of all tragedy throughout human history. Now he's claiming that it's cosmic space radiation that's been behind all the evil in the world throughout all history, and in 5D's, he's going to claim that evil gods sealed into the Nazca lines are the source of all evil in human history. And thanks to the glorified crossover fanfic movie that was released not too long ago, we know that all of this is supposed to be in continuity, which means we have the situation where three sets of cosmic horrors are screwing around with people, making them do bad things, all utterly oblivious to the presence of the others. Suspense of disbelief, it is broken.

4. This is a bad plot device. Even if this were to make any sense, which as has been established it does not, the fact of the matter is that trying to reduce the complexity of human motivations, trying to encompass everything to have ever gone wrong under one banner...it's just insulting. Not only does this gross simplification result in bad, dull, uninteresting storytelling, in the real world this sort of attitude leads to all sorts of tragedies and atrocities.

Where were we? Oh, right, bullshit. Anyway, wrapping all this nonsense up and explaining what any of this has to do with anything, according to Pegasus the Surge of Light is...residing in the Ultimate D-Card...somehow...and it must be recovered before it becomes a threat to the world...which is why you waited ten years before starting to look for it. Also, something about the God Cards and the Mythic Demons, but since that has nothing to do with anything, I don't care. Also, apparently anyone who had the possibility of possessing the Ultimate D-Card was invited to the tournament, which is why all those invited were total clowns. Blah blah blah, Edo sees the Ultimate D-card as a substitute daddy figure, and thankfully all this nonsensical, contradictory, illogical, and poorly timed exposition is over.

So now Edo is standing in front of a pile of collapsed Pro League Duelists, which brings several funny images to mind of Edo and his opponents dueling around unconscious bodies, but of course none of them had what he was looking for, and flashback to Mizuchi telling him how the Ultimate D-Card is the source of all evil and will totally end the world, and flashback over. Suddenly, random bolt of lightning over the White Dorm, and Edo rushes in, demanding that Saiou tell him where the Ultimate D-Card is, and it only took him 18 episodes to do so. Now, since Edo has one of the Satelite Control Keys that Saiou wants, you'd imagine that Saiou would propose a quid pro quo, which would force Edo to decide what is more important to him, the world or his revenge. Naturally, before anything interesting like that could happen, a couple of Association of Light goons grab Edo and toss him out on his ass.

Now it's daytime, and Chronos is demanding to know what Judai and Kenzan are doing in the principal's office, and according to Judai, since the principal is out right now, it should totally be okay for them to invade his office and use his big screen TV. ...The sheer...myopic...childish...entitled...selfishness...Napoleon, for once, is able to be reasonable and tells them to go watch in their own rooms, but Judai whines that his TV is too small to watch the big match for the title of World Champion...which you didn't seem to have a problem with when you watched Kaiser Ryou's big match with Edo Phoenix on Manjoume's big screen TV...really, is the only point of this scene to remind us what a conceited jackass Judai is? Because I didn't need that reminder, I will never be able to forget what a selfish, spoiled brat Judai is, no matter how hard I try. Oh, and even though the big title match was apparently why they came in, they've up to this point been watching an extremely childish cartoon, but now they go ahead and switch to the match. Oh hey, Napoleon's still bringing up that inane plotline where he kept wanting to tear down Osiris Red dorm that went nowhere. Guess what? It's still going nowhere! Oh, and apparently the world champion is named DD, and he is Edo Phoenix's legal guardian.

Wait...hold on a second...The ultimate D-Card...DD...no, the writers couldn't possibly go for something THAT stupid!

Anyway, yeah, DD has apparently been the world champ for 10 years, and apparently either never got the invitation for the Genex tournament, or simply didn't bother to show. Meanwhile, out on the sea, Edo is watching the title match on his tiny little laptop. Gosh, by Judai's lack of reasoning, that must mean Edo must not like DD very much at all. Also, why is he out at sea for this? Anyway, flashback to when Chibi Edo first met DD. And seriously, is Edo tiny in this shot, or what? That, or DD is some sort of giant. In any event, DD knew Edo's father and agreed to take in his son, and Edo wants to grow up to be the one to defeat DD as the world champion and so makes him promise to stay world champ until then, and there's not even the slightest possibility that dramatic irony will turn this heartwarming scene upsidedown. Back to the present, DD, who has grown an impressively manly set of sideburns and beard, is gripping his wrist. He's shuddering, he reaches for the small case before him, and then he hears a voice in his head and looks to the drama mirror. Evil DD, who's hair is of course just a bit spikier than Good DD's, tells him to man up and just use the power of the Ultimate Card, for soon it shall all be over. GASP! SHOCK! I would never have guessed that DD was the one who killed Edo's father and stole the Ultimate D-Card! What a super special awesome plot twist! And then DD punches the case through the glass table, breaking both, and takes the card, with Evil DD in control. Considering that I used to watch Dexter's Laboratory all the time, this was a very weird paragraph for me to write.

EYECATCH!

Nothing happens, and then the announcers declare that DD's opponent is Doctor Collector, a man with a 200 IQ, and also apparently some sort of crazed criminal in a straitjacket. I'm going to assume that this is just a gimmick like in Professional Wrestling and move on. The audience boos the heel, who with his ridiculously huge muscles breaks out of his straitjacket. Kenzan blathers on, and now the announcer starts hyping up DD, calling him the "King of Kings, the Destiny of Duelists, DD!". I'm sorry, DD is still an incredibly stupid name. And for now, Evil DD is lying low. Doctor Collector proclaims that this is the last day for DD to hold onto his title, and DD responds that it's also the last day for him and everyone else as well. Doctor Collector, with his alleged 200 IQ, has no idea what DD means by that, and the duel begins. DD goes first and summons Enigma Envoy of the Celestial Lord in defense, and sets a card to end his turn. Doctor Collector takes his turn, draws, and proclaims that he's just drawn the card to complete his ultimate hand. DD is curious to see what the 200 IQ genius would call an ultimate hand, and DC shows him; first, he plays the permanent spell card Dimension Fissure, which means that all monsters that would go to the grave will now be removed from play. Next up, Graceful Charity, drawing three and discarding two. The two he discards are Cosmo Queen and Magician's Valkyria, which means they get removed from play. Following that, Magical Stone Excavation, discarding two cards to get back Graceful Charity, and one of them was a monster so that one gets removed from play. Graceful Charity once again, and two more monsters are removed from play. Judai, the resident moron, has no idea what DC is trying to accomplish. Because he is a moron.

DC declares that he's now removed five monsters from play, and DD yawns, wondering whether it will be nightfall before DC is done with his turn. Heh, now we know where Edo gets his jerkhole attitude from. DC says that DD does not know discipline, and that's why he'll lose. And now he plays Dimension Fusion; by paying 2000 life points, this lets both players special summon as many removed from play monsters to the field as possible. DD has no removed from play monsters, so he doesn't get to be in on the fun, but DD has five, so bam, out comes Cosmo Queen, a normal spellcaster with 2900 attack points, three Magician's Valkyria with 1600 attack points and the ability to keep the opponent from attacking as established back in episode 42, and Ebon Magician Curran, with 1200 attack points and during the standby phase it deals 300 damage to the opponent for every monster they control. So, the big burly insane prisoner guy...summons a bunch of female spellcasters. That's...some very interesting subtext, to put it mildly. The peanut gallery goes over everything I just went over, gosh, how's DD going to overcome this one? Blah blah blah, DC attacks, they play that terrible music cue, and DD activates his trap card, Negate Attack. DC says that he survived this turn, but that'll just make the next turn all the more painful, and he activates another spell card, Magical Blast; for every spellcaster you control, you deal 200 points of damage to your opponent. Furthermore, during your draw phase, you can add this card from your grave to your hand instead of drawing a new card. And now DC sets a card to end his turn, and makes the mistake of spelling out for the audience what his trap card is, Nightmare Wheel, ensuring that it will fail.

And now DD has his spiky hair, and has a glowing white aura. Also, glowing red eyes. Yeesh, what's next, horns hooves and tail? DC is confused, blah blah blah, something about evil spirits, has DC ever seen the Devil, DC stays in character and says he's in prison for life so he has a devil in his heart, but DD means the real devil, and starts laughing madly, because even the thinnest pretense of subtlety has to go. And now the aura of light expands, freaking everyone out, and DD takes his turn. He plays two Devil's Sanctuary's to special summon two metal devil tokens, and then he plays D-Force, which for some reason he puts on top of his deck face-up, and proclaiming that he'll show DC the real devil, sacrifices Enigma and the two metal devil tokens.

Suddenly, static! Neither Edo nor Judai get to see what happens next, and since Judai is a moron, he proceeds to try to beat his principal's television into working over the objections of Chronos and Napoleon. Edo, who's brain at some point turned to mush, gets a call from DD and is relieved that he's okay. Did he seriously not see or hear anything that DD was saying? DD seriously can't believe that Edo has no idea what just happened, and tells him that he's going to go over to Duel Academia in his own boat to see him, and then hangs up the phone. So that night, Edo meets up with DD on his needlessly big boat, which is both very dark and has needlessly huge doors. Edo still suspects nothing, and asks him how the match went. DD says he won, but now DC is no longer of this world, and now Edo starts getting suspicious. What, the glowing red eyes and the ranting about the Devil weren't good enough for you? DD talks about how the audience fled when the fire broke like the wusses that they are, and DD isn't sure whether it was the fire or his monster that ultimately killed DC. DD's monster, which is of course in shadow, chips away at the barrier created by the Valkyria's, but DC still has Nightmare Wheel to fall back on. This of course fails to work, DC loses, and DD laughs evilly, because I don't think we've made it clear yet that DD is evil. Edo is in shock, the door behind him closes and locks itself, and DD says the only way out is through the door behind him. And since DD kept his part of the promise, it's now time for Edo to keep his part and duel him, and hey, now Edo gets to die by the power of the Ultimate D-Card, the card that DD killed Edo's father to steal. End episode.

NEXT TIME! Edo duels DD, which means we finally get to see the much hyped Ultimate D-card that everyone's been going on about. EPISODE TITLE, FINALLY ACTIVATED, THE ULTIMATE D CARD card of the week is the ultimate D card, and all we know about it is that you have to sacrifice three monsters for it.

It figures the one time we get a dedicated spellcaster deck on this show, it has to lose, badly. Also, be coupled with some really uncomfortable subtext, again, to put it mildly.

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cypsiman2: I still believe in my dreams (Default)
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