Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 73
Aug. 8th, 2010 12:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cypsiman2Oh boy, more Tarot shenanigans. Saiou's got The Wheel of Fortune on top, The Fool beneath, and The Hierophant to the right, so he believes that both Judai and Edo will have a significant effect on his destiny. But what is the other card beside The Fool? It is Strength, which he interprets as meaning there will be a third person to affect his fate, and that person's power is growing. And yeah, once more he's on his way to Duel Academia. Oh boy, the freak chicken that lays the golden eggs. Well, that was pointless. And now Shou's heading all the way over to Osiris Red to wake Judai up, and Judai comes running out, and Shou wonders what's up? Could it be that Judai's finally going to get off his ass and save his friends from being brainwashed? OF FUCKING COURSE NOT, HE JUST WANTS TO GET HIS GODDAMN DRAWBREAD! Who do I have to talk to about hiring a hitman around here...
TITLE SCREEN! KENZAN VS. SAIOU! IT'S DINOSAUR DNA no, no it isn't. please stop saying it is.
Kenzan is asleep. Charming. And what else would he be dreaming about, besides his dinosaur duel monsters? And then he rolls right out of bed, about ten feet down onto his face. Unfortunately, he fails to break a single bone in his body. Fucker. Oh, and Saiou is in there too. Kenzan demands to know who the fuck he is, Saiou says this is Judai's room, isn't it? Blah blah blah, Saiou says that Kenzan is the man indicated by the Strength card, which is absolute bullshit; Strength, in the Tarot, represents RATIONAL STRENGTH, strength of the mind. The most common representation is that of a woman holding up a lion by the tail or some such thing. As such, if anyone should be Strength on this show, it should be Misawa. But of course, the writers hate logic and quality, so instead it's Kenzan. Kenzan repeats his demand for Saiou to identify himself, and Saiou finally does so, even going so far as to give Kenzan his business card. Kenzan's all 'so you're the Saiou guy Manjoume keeps going on about', blah blah blah, Saiou says he can't help that so many people admire him, it's there freedom to do so, and how such a good line made it into this show, I've no idea. Okay, does Kenzan think he's a kitten now? And again, what the fuck is the deal with his eyes? Oh, right, we're going to be getting that explanation, and it will be stupid as all fuck. Fuck, Saiou's all 'what is this strong power oozing out of his body', and I die a little inside. Oh, and Pharaoh does not like Saiou. That's going to go exactly, nowhere. And of course, Saiou challenges Kenzan to a duel, and if Kenzan can win, he'll talk to Manjoume about disbanding the Society of Light.
And now we've got Judai, Shou, and Ms. Tome walking along, blah blah blah, Judai is a selfish, greedy, gluttonous little prick, and they come upon Edo, who's just standing around. He's been doing an awful lot of that lately. Blah blah blah, he's watching Kenzan and Saiou as they're about to start dueling, he's pretty sure that Manjoume started acting all weird after dueling with Saiou, Judai and Shou run after Kenzan, and Edo takes a bite out of the Drawbread. And hell, he manages to get the golden egg. Edo is now the best character ever, for casually depriving Judai of one of his greatest pleasures. Until he fucks it up, as all characters on this show are doomed to do. Kenzan arms his duel disc, and it turns out that Saiou's never actually used a Duel Disc before, a plot point that is, oddly enough, utterly without point. Why he doesn't just do the thing with his table and the fog, I don't know. AND DAMN THAT MUSIC CUE TO HELL, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU START OFF THE DUEL LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE TO HATE KITTENS AND RAINBOWS TO THINK THIS MUSIC CUE IS A GOOD IDEA!
Duel starts, Kenzan goes first and summons Giant Rex with 2000 attack points and ends his turn. Blah blah blah, Judai tries to warn Kenzan, Kenzan already knows, and Saiou thinks to himself that Edo should watch closely. Saiou takes his turn, and summons Arcana Force I The Magician, with 1100 attack points. In the Tarot, The Magician is all about the young apprentice using the tools before him to improve himself. Basically, a measure of skill. Let's see what Saiou has to say. Blah blah blah, Kenzan's fate is already decided, tautological shit is tautological, Kenzan yells out stop, and The Magician is upright; now when a spell card is activated, its attack power will double for that turn. Blah blah blah, destiny and luck, I don't give a fuck, and that crack about 'Today's logic' really makes me want to smack the writers around. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WITH THIS SHOW AND IT'S ANTI-THOUGHT, ANTI-INTELLECTUALISM, ANTI-SCIENCE, ANTI-REASON, ANTI-LOGIC TONE? Seriously, this is the second time we've had a character express this exact sentiment...and why is Kenzan going on about luck anyway? He's never attributed anything to luck before...oh, right, otherwise this 'brilliant' dialogue couldn't happen. OF COURSE!
Oh, Saiou insulted the dinosaurs, Kenzan gets defensive, and Saiou just laughs at him. Then he plays Future Visions, allowing him to pick up cards from his opponent's deck until he reaches a monster card, 'what fate awaits you' Saiou wonders, and Kenzan deems it obvious, he'll be a dinosaur in the afterlife...I'm just going to ignore that. Saiou sees that Kenzan's going to get one of those evolution pill cards, and then dinosaur. Saiou humors Kenzan, awards him 1000 life points, and returns the cards to his deck in the order he picked them up. Blah blah blah, Judai, Shou, and Kenzan are all morons who've forgotten about The Magician's effect, The Magician's attack power doubles to 2200, it attacks Giant Rex for 200 points of damage. Saiou sets two cards to end his turn, Kenzan takes his. Wow, what a shock, he summons the bird dino thing, that makes this the, what, fifth time he's done this exact same combo? Well, he does it again, he plays Ultra Evolution Pill to sacrifice it to summon Dark Tyranno, The Magician's attack power doubles once more, but Dark Tyranno is still stronger, so The Magician is destroyed for 400 points of damage. Blah blah blah, Kenzan says some really stupid shit about Judai changing his fate and the power of the dinosaurs swelling within him, and oh look, another inept attempt at comedy. It is ineffective, if I remember my pokemon speak correctly.
Saiou is unfazed as he takes his turn, and he plays Pentacle of Ace, and Kenzan stops it in the upright position; its upright effect is to let Saiou draw a card and recover 500 life points. Umm, woo? 'Destiny will guide you to the correct path', so says Saiou, and he summons Arcana Force VII The Chariot. Again, in actual Tarot imagery, it is generally a man riding a chariot being pulled by a white beast and a black beast, signifying control of opposing forces to advance in one's future. Kenzan yells stop, and it ends up being in reverse. Huh. Well, when it is destroyed in battle, it will end up on the opponent's side of the field, so Saiou declares his attack, confusing everyone but Edo, who reminds everyone that Saiou's seen the whole destiny of this duel or some such shit like that.
EYECATCH!
Arcana Force VII attacks with...fire extinguishers, apparently, and is destroyed for 900 points of damage, and is then special summoned to Kenzan's side of the field. Now Saiou gets to call it, and he stops The Chariot in reverse, again. And now Saiou activates Suit of Sword X, the card he used against Manjoume, and he preempts Kenzan to explain what the effects of the card are. And what do you know, Kenzan stops it upright position, so all of his monsters are destroyed, which lets Saiou activate his trap card, Ace of Wand; if it lands in the upright position, Kenzan will gain life points equal to the combined attack power of his monsters that were just destroyed. If in reverse, he'll lose the same number of life points. Seriously, Judai, can you can it with the 'that's cool' shit for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS? SERIOUSLY, ONE OF YOUR SUPPOSED FRIENDS IS IN DANGER OF BEING BRAINWASHED! PRIORITIES MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU HAVE ANY??? Blah blah blah, Edo says that Saiou's Wheel of Fate is unstoppable, and shock of shocks, Kenzan stops Ace of Wand in reverse, so he takes 4300 points of damage. And so Saiou ends his turn.
Kenzan is despairing, Saiou's just too strong, but Judai proclaims that Saiou doesn't know how the duel will end, that's what makes it so fun...GAHH! CAN YOU DROP THE ISSUE OF FUN FOR EVEN A MOMENT YOU TWERP??? AND STOP ENCOURAGING KENZAN WITH HIS DINOSAUR OBSESSION, HE DOESN'T NEED THE HELP! And of course, that weak-ass excuse of a friendship speech restores Kenzan's vigor, he draws his card, and he goes on about the Dinosaur DNA in his body not abandoning, cue him doing that stupid thing with his eyes AGAIN! Then Kenzan summons Dyna Base, which is a bullshit card that was never released into the real card game, and then he sacrifices it along with the Ultimate Tyranno he just drew to special summon Dyna Tank, with Ultimate Tyranno's 3000 attack points. Did I mention the part where Dyna Tank looks really goddamn stupid? Because it does. Kenzan attacks directly, Saiou only has 200 life points left, and despite Judai's constant preaching about how it's not over til it's over, he's already acting like Kenzan just won. Fucking hypocrite.
Saiou's turn, he plays Necro Sacrifice, allowing him to special summon monsters from his grave to the opponent's side of the field in place of sacrificing monsters on his side of the field. So he summons The Chariot onto Kenzan's side of the field to summon the Level 5 Arcana Force VIII Strength. The Chariot ends up in Reverse, again, and now Strength starts spinning; if it lands upright, Saiou gets control of one of Kenzan's monsters. If it lands in reverse, Kenzan will gain control of all of his other monsters. Kenzan stops it in the upright, Saiou takes control of Dyna Tank, but it turns out that Dyna Tank has another bullshit effect; when it is targeted by a card effect, it can switch the target to one of his opponent's monsters, so Strength gets zapped with its own effect and goes over to Kenzan's side of the field. Saiou says it's too early for Kenzan to be thanking him, one minor mistake is all it takes for a person's life to be wasted, and one card is all it takes to shift a duel, indicating his face down card. Saiou activates the Trap Card in question, Reversing Destiny, causing all Arcana Force monsters on the field to switch their effects, so now The Chariot is upright, while the Strength is in reverse. Thus, Saiou gains control of The Chariot and Dyna Tank, since Strength's reverse effect does not target. Saiou attacks Strength with Dyna Tank, winning the duel.
Blah blah blah, Saiou welcomes Kenzan to his new fate on the Path of Light, Judai and Shou yell at Saiou, but Saiou does his whole glowy eye trick to paralyze them. And now Kenzan gets up, and of all the bullshit, he does not join the Society of Light. Why the fuck is he able to resist Saiou's power when Manjoume and Asuka were unable to do so? Saiou demands to know what the fuck, and...Kenzan says...his willpower is...not on par with...an ordinary...human being. You have no idea how difficult it is for me to type this shit, at all. Kenzan reveals a scar on his calf, and says that when he was digging for fossils a while back, his leg was shattered in a rock slide accident. To replace the missing bone fragment, a dinosaur fossil was used. Thus, the Dinosaur DNA became mixed with his, and he became stronger than anyone else.
...
...
...
...
...
QUESTION!
Yes?
THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!
That's not a question.
WELL IT SHOULD BE!
First of all, kids are not allowed on archeological digs of any sort. Second, when the fuck did Kenzan have time to go on an archeological dig in the first place. Third, FOSSILS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! FOSSILS ARE GENERALLY SEDIMENTARY DEPOSITS THAT GRADUALLY REPLACE THE ORIGINAL, ORGANIC BONE. In other words, FOSSILS HAVE NO DNA TO BEGIN WITH, EVEN MICHAL CRICHTON RECOGNIZED THIS, THAT'S WHY HE HAD THE BIT WITH THE MOSQUITO TRAPPED IN THE AMBER! Fourth, BONE AND MARROW TRANSPLANTS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! Organ rejection is a very serious problem, even when the donor and recipient are both of the same species. You try to replace someone's bone with a dinosaur's, and you'll end up having to amputate that leg in no time! Fifth, THIS IS A BULLSHIT EXCUSE FOR KENZAN NOT GETTING SUCKED INTO THE ASSOCIATION OF LIGHT! Seriously, how the fuck does having a fossil of a dinosaur that had a brain the size of a walnut in your calf give you superhuman willpower? Bullshit, if Asuka doesn't get to resist joining, then neither does Kenzan.
Look, even Shou is skeptical about all this bullshit, and Judai says something really stupid. Yes Kenzan, it sure was impressive how you nearly got yourself killed in a stupid accident and randomly gained super powers...fuck, this is supposed to be a parody of comic books, isn't it? And all it required was really terrible writing, a total disregard for plot, and just plain absolute, utter, BULLSHIT! Also, if that is what is going on, it is completely gratuitous and out of place. Writers, just because you feel like trying to parody or deconstruct something (and I can't emphasize TRY strongly enough, considering that I would not trust these peons to deconstruct a two-piece puzzle), doesn't mean you SHOULD! The addition of deconstruction to a story does not automatically improve it. Deconstructions or parodies are like any other narrative conceit; it takes skill and effort to properly perform, and the writers for GX have thoroughly demonstrated that they are completely lacking in both traits.
Where was I? Ah, yes, that's right. Bizarrely enough, Shou's continued disbelief in all this bullshit is actually doing a decent job of making me like him again. Wonder how long it will be before he screws that up? Shut the hell up Kenzan, you've forfeited the right to talk, ever again, and Saiou leaves without a word. Blah blah blah, the three stooges are painfully unfunny, Chronos announces that there's a new student, shock of shock its Saiou, who will be skipping straight to third year. Prepare for this plot point, to be without, well, point. And of course, Judai still won't get off his ass and fight Saiou and the rest of the Society of Light. Because he's as dumb as a rock, and twice as lazy. End Episode.
NEXT TIME! Apparently there's going to be a field trip soon, and of course Judai wants to duel to decide where they will go, and of course he gets his way. EPISODE TITLE, REVIVING FROG! LIVING FROG! DEATH FROG! And some bullshit about a princess that can see Duel Spirits. Card of the Week is Strength, which was never released into the real card game.
THAT. MADE. NO. FUCKING. SENSE! WHY. WOULD. YOU. WRITE. SOMETHING. SO. TERRIBLE? DO. THE. WRITERS. HATE. HAPPINESS? I. THINK. THAT. THEY. DO!
TITLE SCREEN! KENZAN VS. SAIOU! IT'S DINOSAUR DNA no, no it isn't. please stop saying it is.
Kenzan is asleep. Charming. And what else would he be dreaming about, besides his dinosaur duel monsters? And then he rolls right out of bed, about ten feet down onto his face. Unfortunately, he fails to break a single bone in his body. Fucker. Oh, and Saiou is in there too. Kenzan demands to know who the fuck he is, Saiou says this is Judai's room, isn't it? Blah blah blah, Saiou says that Kenzan is the man indicated by the Strength card, which is absolute bullshit; Strength, in the Tarot, represents RATIONAL STRENGTH, strength of the mind. The most common representation is that of a woman holding up a lion by the tail or some such thing. As such, if anyone should be Strength on this show, it should be Misawa. But of course, the writers hate logic and quality, so instead it's Kenzan. Kenzan repeats his demand for Saiou to identify himself, and Saiou finally does so, even going so far as to give Kenzan his business card. Kenzan's all 'so you're the Saiou guy Manjoume keeps going on about', blah blah blah, Saiou says he can't help that so many people admire him, it's there freedom to do so, and how such a good line made it into this show, I've no idea. Okay, does Kenzan think he's a kitten now? And again, what the fuck is the deal with his eyes? Oh, right, we're going to be getting that explanation, and it will be stupid as all fuck. Fuck, Saiou's all 'what is this strong power oozing out of his body', and I die a little inside. Oh, and Pharaoh does not like Saiou. That's going to go exactly, nowhere. And of course, Saiou challenges Kenzan to a duel, and if Kenzan can win, he'll talk to Manjoume about disbanding the Society of Light.
And now we've got Judai, Shou, and Ms. Tome walking along, blah blah blah, Judai is a selfish, greedy, gluttonous little prick, and they come upon Edo, who's just standing around. He's been doing an awful lot of that lately. Blah blah blah, he's watching Kenzan and Saiou as they're about to start dueling, he's pretty sure that Manjoume started acting all weird after dueling with Saiou, Judai and Shou run after Kenzan, and Edo takes a bite out of the Drawbread. And hell, he manages to get the golden egg. Edo is now the best character ever, for casually depriving Judai of one of his greatest pleasures. Until he fucks it up, as all characters on this show are doomed to do. Kenzan arms his duel disc, and it turns out that Saiou's never actually used a Duel Disc before, a plot point that is, oddly enough, utterly without point. Why he doesn't just do the thing with his table and the fog, I don't know. AND DAMN THAT MUSIC CUE TO HELL, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU START OFF THE DUEL LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE TO HATE KITTENS AND RAINBOWS TO THINK THIS MUSIC CUE IS A GOOD IDEA!
Duel starts, Kenzan goes first and summons Giant Rex with 2000 attack points and ends his turn. Blah blah blah, Judai tries to warn Kenzan, Kenzan already knows, and Saiou thinks to himself that Edo should watch closely. Saiou takes his turn, and summons Arcana Force I The Magician, with 1100 attack points. In the Tarot, The Magician is all about the young apprentice using the tools before him to improve himself. Basically, a measure of skill. Let's see what Saiou has to say. Blah blah blah, Kenzan's fate is already decided, tautological shit is tautological, Kenzan yells out stop, and The Magician is upright; now when a spell card is activated, its attack power will double for that turn. Blah blah blah, destiny and luck, I don't give a fuck, and that crack about 'Today's logic' really makes me want to smack the writers around. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WITH THIS SHOW AND IT'S ANTI-THOUGHT, ANTI-INTELLECTUALISM, ANTI-SCIENCE, ANTI-REASON, ANTI-LOGIC TONE? Seriously, this is the second time we've had a character express this exact sentiment...and why is Kenzan going on about luck anyway? He's never attributed anything to luck before...oh, right, otherwise this 'brilliant' dialogue couldn't happen. OF COURSE!
Oh, Saiou insulted the dinosaurs, Kenzan gets defensive, and Saiou just laughs at him. Then he plays Future Visions, allowing him to pick up cards from his opponent's deck until he reaches a monster card, 'what fate awaits you' Saiou wonders, and Kenzan deems it obvious, he'll be a dinosaur in the afterlife...I'm just going to ignore that. Saiou sees that Kenzan's going to get one of those evolution pill cards, and then dinosaur. Saiou humors Kenzan, awards him 1000 life points, and returns the cards to his deck in the order he picked them up. Blah blah blah, Judai, Shou, and Kenzan are all morons who've forgotten about The Magician's effect, The Magician's attack power doubles to 2200, it attacks Giant Rex for 200 points of damage. Saiou sets two cards to end his turn, Kenzan takes his. Wow, what a shock, he summons the bird dino thing, that makes this the, what, fifth time he's done this exact same combo? Well, he does it again, he plays Ultra Evolution Pill to sacrifice it to summon Dark Tyranno, The Magician's attack power doubles once more, but Dark Tyranno is still stronger, so The Magician is destroyed for 400 points of damage. Blah blah blah, Kenzan says some really stupid shit about Judai changing his fate and the power of the dinosaurs swelling within him, and oh look, another inept attempt at comedy. It is ineffective, if I remember my pokemon speak correctly.
Saiou is unfazed as he takes his turn, and he plays Pentacle of Ace, and Kenzan stops it in the upright position; its upright effect is to let Saiou draw a card and recover 500 life points. Umm, woo? 'Destiny will guide you to the correct path', so says Saiou, and he summons Arcana Force VII The Chariot. Again, in actual Tarot imagery, it is generally a man riding a chariot being pulled by a white beast and a black beast, signifying control of opposing forces to advance in one's future. Kenzan yells stop, and it ends up being in reverse. Huh. Well, when it is destroyed in battle, it will end up on the opponent's side of the field, so Saiou declares his attack, confusing everyone but Edo, who reminds everyone that Saiou's seen the whole destiny of this duel or some such shit like that.
EYECATCH!
Arcana Force VII attacks with...fire extinguishers, apparently, and is destroyed for 900 points of damage, and is then special summoned to Kenzan's side of the field. Now Saiou gets to call it, and he stops The Chariot in reverse, again. And now Saiou activates Suit of Sword X, the card he used against Manjoume, and he preempts Kenzan to explain what the effects of the card are. And what do you know, Kenzan stops it upright position, so all of his monsters are destroyed, which lets Saiou activate his trap card, Ace of Wand; if it lands in the upright position, Kenzan will gain life points equal to the combined attack power of his monsters that were just destroyed. If in reverse, he'll lose the same number of life points. Seriously, Judai, can you can it with the 'that's cool' shit for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS? SERIOUSLY, ONE OF YOUR SUPPOSED FRIENDS IS IN DANGER OF BEING BRAINWASHED! PRIORITIES MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU HAVE ANY??? Blah blah blah, Edo says that Saiou's Wheel of Fate is unstoppable, and shock of shocks, Kenzan stops Ace of Wand in reverse, so he takes 4300 points of damage. And so Saiou ends his turn.
Kenzan is despairing, Saiou's just too strong, but Judai proclaims that Saiou doesn't know how the duel will end, that's what makes it so fun...GAHH! CAN YOU DROP THE ISSUE OF FUN FOR EVEN A MOMENT YOU TWERP??? AND STOP ENCOURAGING KENZAN WITH HIS DINOSAUR OBSESSION, HE DOESN'T NEED THE HELP! And of course, that weak-ass excuse of a friendship speech restores Kenzan's vigor, he draws his card, and he goes on about the Dinosaur DNA in his body not abandoning, cue him doing that stupid thing with his eyes AGAIN! Then Kenzan summons Dyna Base, which is a bullshit card that was never released into the real card game, and then he sacrifices it along with the Ultimate Tyranno he just drew to special summon Dyna Tank, with Ultimate Tyranno's 3000 attack points. Did I mention the part where Dyna Tank looks really goddamn stupid? Because it does. Kenzan attacks directly, Saiou only has 200 life points left, and despite Judai's constant preaching about how it's not over til it's over, he's already acting like Kenzan just won. Fucking hypocrite.
Saiou's turn, he plays Necro Sacrifice, allowing him to special summon monsters from his grave to the opponent's side of the field in place of sacrificing monsters on his side of the field. So he summons The Chariot onto Kenzan's side of the field to summon the Level 5 Arcana Force VIII Strength. The Chariot ends up in Reverse, again, and now Strength starts spinning; if it lands upright, Saiou gets control of one of Kenzan's monsters. If it lands in reverse, Kenzan will gain control of all of his other monsters. Kenzan stops it in the upright, Saiou takes control of Dyna Tank, but it turns out that Dyna Tank has another bullshit effect; when it is targeted by a card effect, it can switch the target to one of his opponent's monsters, so Strength gets zapped with its own effect and goes over to Kenzan's side of the field. Saiou says it's too early for Kenzan to be thanking him, one minor mistake is all it takes for a person's life to be wasted, and one card is all it takes to shift a duel, indicating his face down card. Saiou activates the Trap Card in question, Reversing Destiny, causing all Arcana Force monsters on the field to switch their effects, so now The Chariot is upright, while the Strength is in reverse. Thus, Saiou gains control of The Chariot and Dyna Tank, since Strength's reverse effect does not target. Saiou attacks Strength with Dyna Tank, winning the duel.
Blah blah blah, Saiou welcomes Kenzan to his new fate on the Path of Light, Judai and Shou yell at Saiou, but Saiou does his whole glowy eye trick to paralyze them. And now Kenzan gets up, and of all the bullshit, he does not join the Society of Light. Why the fuck is he able to resist Saiou's power when Manjoume and Asuka were unable to do so? Saiou demands to know what the fuck, and...Kenzan says...his willpower is...not on par with...an ordinary...human being. You have no idea how difficult it is for me to type this shit, at all. Kenzan reveals a scar on his calf, and says that when he was digging for fossils a while back, his leg was shattered in a rock slide accident. To replace the missing bone fragment, a dinosaur fossil was used. Thus, the Dinosaur DNA became mixed with his, and he became stronger than anyone else.
...
...
...
...
...
QUESTION!
Yes?
THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!
That's not a question.
WELL IT SHOULD BE!
First of all, kids are not allowed on archeological digs of any sort. Second, when the fuck did Kenzan have time to go on an archeological dig in the first place. Third, FOSSILS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! FOSSILS ARE GENERALLY SEDIMENTARY DEPOSITS THAT GRADUALLY REPLACE THE ORIGINAL, ORGANIC BONE. In other words, FOSSILS HAVE NO DNA TO BEGIN WITH, EVEN MICHAL CRICHTON RECOGNIZED THIS, THAT'S WHY HE HAD THE BIT WITH THE MOSQUITO TRAPPED IN THE AMBER! Fourth, BONE AND MARROW TRANSPLANTS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! Organ rejection is a very serious problem, even when the donor and recipient are both of the same species. You try to replace someone's bone with a dinosaur's, and you'll end up having to amputate that leg in no time! Fifth, THIS IS A BULLSHIT EXCUSE FOR KENZAN NOT GETTING SUCKED INTO THE ASSOCIATION OF LIGHT! Seriously, how the fuck does having a fossil of a dinosaur that had a brain the size of a walnut in your calf give you superhuman willpower? Bullshit, if Asuka doesn't get to resist joining, then neither does Kenzan.
Look, even Shou is skeptical about all this bullshit, and Judai says something really stupid. Yes Kenzan, it sure was impressive how you nearly got yourself killed in a stupid accident and randomly gained super powers...fuck, this is supposed to be a parody of comic books, isn't it? And all it required was really terrible writing, a total disregard for plot, and just plain absolute, utter, BULLSHIT! Also, if that is what is going on, it is completely gratuitous and out of place. Writers, just because you feel like trying to parody or deconstruct something (and I can't emphasize TRY strongly enough, considering that I would not trust these peons to deconstruct a two-piece puzzle), doesn't mean you SHOULD! The addition of deconstruction to a story does not automatically improve it. Deconstructions or parodies are like any other narrative conceit; it takes skill and effort to properly perform, and the writers for GX have thoroughly demonstrated that they are completely lacking in both traits.
Where was I? Ah, yes, that's right. Bizarrely enough, Shou's continued disbelief in all this bullshit is actually doing a decent job of making me like him again. Wonder how long it will be before he screws that up? Shut the hell up Kenzan, you've forfeited the right to talk, ever again, and Saiou leaves without a word. Blah blah blah, the three stooges are painfully unfunny, Chronos announces that there's a new student, shock of shock its Saiou, who will be skipping straight to third year. Prepare for this plot point, to be without, well, point. And of course, Judai still won't get off his ass and fight Saiou and the rest of the Society of Light. Because he's as dumb as a rock, and twice as lazy. End Episode.
NEXT TIME! Apparently there's going to be a field trip soon, and of course Judai wants to duel to decide where they will go, and of course he gets his way. EPISODE TITLE, REVIVING FROG! LIVING FROG! DEATH FROG! And some bullshit about a princess that can see Duel Spirits. Card of the Week is Strength, which was never released into the real card game.
THAT. MADE. NO. FUCKING. SENSE! WHY. WOULD. YOU. WRITE. SOMETHING. SO. TERRIBLE? DO. THE. WRITERS. HATE. HAPPINESS? I. THINK. THAT. THEY. DO!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-08-10 01:38 am (UTC)I... This isn't just me personally not being much moved by the humor. Sure, some styles of humor don't affect me much (I can only handle pure comedy for so long before getting tired of it, no matter how good it might be), but I can still recognize that they succeed at what they're trying to do. But I don't even KNOW what this series is trying to do. That wasn't amusing crack. That wasn't a gripping serious story. That wasn't any sort of combination of the two. THIS SERIES JUST HAS NO FREAKING TONE OR DIRECTION.
On TV Tropes, it mentions that people have wildly different reasons for disliking this series: some think it takes itself too seriously, others think it doesn't take itself seriously enough. Personally, I think that its wildly veering tone results in both flaws.
Also, you only get to deconstruct something if it's actually relevant and you can do it well. The aforementioned shoujo series deconstructing fairytale archetypes make sense and are very successful. GX's attempts at deconstruction are...I'm not even sure what their goal was. This is like the claim that it deconstructs the notion of someone being expected to save the world by playing a card game (except that, you know, no one actually did that in the original manga). There's no deconstruction going on, they just included it and left it lying around.
Oddly enough, I almost (note the almost) like Shou for showing logic here and pointing out how dumb Kenzan is. Where's Misawa to point out the bad science when we need him? Perhaps the writers know he has the power to make their plot vanish in a puff of logic, and that's why they keep shoving him out? Aha, and that's why Asuka and Manjoume had to be brainwashed, too! Now everyone who ever tried to point out the stupidity of this series in season one is suborned or shoved aside.
Fubuki is our only hope! And he's been written out almost as badly as Misawa from day one, so we just might be doomed.
Sorry, I think GX temporarily broke my brain ^^;
Who in the world is going to believe that Saiou is young enough to be attending high school? I'm going to comfort myself now with my usual daydream of a realistic reaction by the teachers in all of those bad fanfics where Malik/Seto/someone else supremely ill-suited to high school is forced to attend. "Whoever you are, you clearly aren't a student, so if you don't have business here, please leave now! Your odd looks are distracting the students."
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Date: 2010-08-10 01:57 am (UTC)There's not even really a plot. There's just a sequence of events, and while that can work for a Slice of Life sort of narrative, GX isn't a Slice of Life story, so that doesn't work either.
Yeah, Season 1 and 2; too random-ass and goofy. Season 3 and 4; too grim-dark and man-pain. And it's not that you can't perform sudden tone shifts, stories like the Full Metal Alchemist manga show that you can, it just takes more skill than these writers could muster on their best day.
Oh god, that bullshit about GX "Deconstructing what it would REALLY be like to play a card game for the fate of the world"...anyone who paid even the slightest attention to the original story, whether the 4Kids dub, the NAS anime, or the original manga, would know that the incredible stresses and pressures that the characters were put under were taken very seriously. The difference, is that in the original series Yuugi and Atem had an effective support network that was able to help them to bear the load, while in GX Judai has to do pretty much fucking everything all on his own. I wouldn't mind so much if people were to claim that GX was deconstructing the 'Chosen One' and the 'We Are Team Cannon Fodder' tropes, but no, they are idiots and say that it's 'The Power of Friendship' that's being deconstructed. Fuck GX and its fandom, so hard.
Yeah, there's too much history of Shou being a whiny little shit for this to turn it all around on its own. And yeah, this show would never survive under Asuka, Manjoume, and Misawa's scrutiny.
And if Fubuki were to actually be around like he should be, then no one would pay attention to Judai! And we can't have that, now can we?
It is the way of GX, to try to break what it can't have like a whiny toddler.
There's a reason why I made Saiou the new Osiris Red professor in my fic. Heck, in a way I killed two birds with one stone! And I would think the teachers would get distracted too! Hee.
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Date: 2010-08-10 02:35 am (UTC)Personally I do prefer subtle shifts, though. I'd say that Yuugiou underwent some mild shifts- by Battle City, we'd definitely made the transition from a more episodic style to epic fantasy being played out through geeky games. It's slow enough that you don't really feel a jolt unless you tend to skip about.
*cheers* Mm, but GX doesn't even seem to be deconstructing those. Deconstruction is usually quite evident; GX, meanwhile, seems to just be using them due to poor writing. And deconstructing 'The Power of Friendship' in any Yuugiou spin-off is just tasteless. Have some respect for the original series, why don't you? It's one thing to want to add your own flair to your interpretation of a sequel, and quite another to stomp all over canon!
Ahh, if ever there was a fanfic-style sporking of GX, those three would be perfect for the job! They'd be glad to finally have the ability to voice all of their complaints, I'm sure!
Juudai who? Sorry, I was too busy gazing in awe at Fubuki-sama's handsome form! 8D
*giggles helplessly*
I just don't understand the obsession with making everyone students, especially given that most writers who do so don't want to write realistic students. Sheesh, if you don't want to write about your characters being limited by their ages, then write adult characters!
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Date: 2010-08-10 02:47 am (UTC)I'd say the big dividing mark is at the start of the Duelist Kingdom arc, coming right after the Monster World arc. And now I find myself thinking about Anzu blowing up the Dark Master Zorc, and my heart sings.
Oh, believe you me, GX doesn't deconstruct SHIT! It's just bad, aimless writing where a huge cast is created, and then thrown away so that Judai can do everything all by himself. Absolute shit writing as far as I'm concerned. And of course, these would be the same tuna-heads who say that 5Ds "reconstructed" the Power of Friendship so that the Friendship speeches are so meaningful now, not like when that stupid annoying Anzu was making them all the time *coughfuckingbullshitcough*.
One day, I shall be kind to them, and give them their opportunity to vent.
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over Fubuki shaking his booty in that jumpsuit of his.
These are the writers who, in their youth, wrote High School fic of everything. Even the stuff that was already in High School. ESPECIALLY, the stuff in High School.
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Date: 2010-08-10 03:10 am (UTC)True. But I personally do find Battle City to be the arc where I really start getting 'does this remind me of epic fantasy or what?' vibes. And go Anzu! And of course go Anzu for being the one to get Atemu's name to him in the last arc!
I'm a firm believer in being objective while critiquing a series and refraining from letting personal taste color one's opinion on quality (for instance horror doesn't appeal to me, but I won't say a horror story is bad just because I didn't enjoy it), but GX is just...it's really badly written.
And argh, I like the friendship speeches in Yuugiou! It had really good sappy manga/anime style speeches!
One day I probably need to try out 5Ds to see what all the fuss is about. Though really, card games on motorcycles doesn't inspire me with much confidence that it will live up to the hype.
I look forward to it!
Quite understandable.
Bleh, high school. You'd think writers who went to high school in Japan would understand even more than writers in the west how soul-suckingly depressing that place is, but apparently not.
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Date: 2010-08-10 03:19 am (UTC)Anzu is all kinds of awesome! All the haters, to the left. I repeat...
I've been saying this for quite a while now, even with regards for it's low, base ambitions, GX is a giant pile of fail.
Don't worry, I've edited that page on Tvtropes. Got to take advantage of being able to brainwash the internet back somehow, right?
I will say this; if the whole of 5Ds had been like the first 26 episodes, then it would have been a fine series in its own right, a decent contribution to the Yugioh franchise. Unfortunately, then they go on to the Dark Signer Arc, AKA DOMA 2.0, and it just goes downhill from there.
It really makes you wonder, doesn't it? What the world would be like if real life High School were anything like how it gets depicted in most fiction, I mean.
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Date: 2010-08-10 03:28 am (UTC)*fangirls Anzu*
And you're right.
Ooh, show me, show me?
Really, I can't help but think that if you were to stay totally true to the original series, there's not much room for any sort of epic, magical continuation. The whole point is that the ancient spirits have been laid to rest, their magic lost, and that it's a good thing; now they can move on, and the living people who've been affected by them can also move on into their own lives.
I think it's noticeable that the most effective way to get much of a dramatic, magic-filled post-series story in Yuugiou is through going AU after a certain pont, exploring a different possible conclusion. Even then, it's rare that it's done well.
Well, if it was like the high school of teen fiction, then there would be a caste system made of cliques. I never paid much attention to high school and ended up opting for homeschooling due to personal issues after a while, but...I never did notice cliques like those in teen fiction existing.
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Date: 2010-08-10 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-10 03:49 am (UTC)Sorry if I'm being short, I'm racing to get this doujinshi scanned and uploaded before my internet dies on me. I'm probably not going to make it ^^;
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Date: 2010-08-10 03:54 am (UTC)Don't worry, the doujinshi is very important! ...what kind of doujinshi are we talking about here?
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Date: 2010-08-10 03:58 am (UTC)A Seto/Kisara doujinshi with very good artwork. I normally don't bother buying things like doujinshi, but it was so pretty...plus het doujinshi are so rare! I couldn't risk it being bought by someone who wouldn't scan it for the rest of the fandom to see!
If I ever get my hands on an Anzu/Yuugi doujinshi, you'll be the first to hear ;)
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Date: 2010-08-10 04:04 am (UTC)Well, if you haven't seen this before...http://www.mangabullet.com/comics/1078/10840.html#image